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I love the picture of her and him on their phones
(response to #5)
Dear Mom,
Lauren wasn't embarrassed, why should you be? I liked what she had on, and liked it better when it was crumpled up at the foot of my bed several hours later when we re-enacted the bad porn you were reminded of. In short, please keep your attentions in the kitchen and not on what my girlfriend is (or is not) wearing.
Love,
PJ
In short, please keep your attentions in the kitchen and not on what my girlfriend is (or is not) wearing.