November 10, 2010 |
In: Morning Coffee, Random
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Love D Beck.
#24… love the 'why can't i own a canadian response" option! teehee!!!
There is something I have diorevsced, though. The longer I don’t try to beg him for return of communication, the more empowered I have started to feel. I’m not giving him control of my emotions any longer and that’s a pretty big power to give to someone. I do see him once a year (every October) and I know he will be on his best behavior then around everyone else, i.e., he will play nice . It’s such a shame that this nice-guy act on his part is a complete charade. I was initially sad to discover that my cousin is not the man I once thought he was, but some people (even your own family sometimes) will turn on you on a dime and they don’t care. I have been grown up around strong, honest men and my Dad basically raised me all my life. In addition, I I have been married to my best friend for 18 years. I am 39-years-old and this cousin is the first man who has ever hurt me, and it had thrown me for a loop for a long, long time. I thought everything was my fault, when the fact remains that I did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant his silent treatment. He does the same thing to his sister and even his favorite cousin, but they give in to his charms again eventually. This is something I cannot do. I will be civil to him at the reunion and maybe even communicate with him via e-mail if he initiates conversation first, but I’m not going to be as eager to maintain that friendly communication because he has hurt me badly once and I know he would do it again if I let myself be vulnerable. You know what they say: What doesn’t kill you first makes you stronger.
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