at his age, he’s decided he doesn’t need it in his life anrymoe and it’s a destructive force he said. His communication is a destructive force I said, not sex. He’s the destructive force. Lack of communication after sex was the distructive force. Don’t we all want to hear how great it was or feel special. Weeks down the track he then tells me how sexy I am and gets all hot. Oh yeahhhhhhhhh, you want sex again. Bingo. Time and time again. I gave him examples of what I expect, I ask him to inform me when he’s got visitors so I don’t text like an obsessed fool ruining his engagement. Open, honest communication is the key to any good relationship. It stops others guessing. And empathy! This psychopath/narcissist doesn’t have any. And I’m calling my soulmate these names in my head??? I have to let go, but I’m so distraught. I’ve been to a Doctor who said I have depression and anxiety and I didn’t, I even went to a Psychologist. She didn’t believe I have, but now I am sure I have got anxiety. My heart is thumping and I collapse in tears. I had peri-menopausal symptoms last week I’m sure, but now I’ve got anxiety to the max like I’m a Codependent. Do look that up too folks it’s me down to a T and I’m admitting it, except I do have self worth, I don’t shun compliments, I can continue on some days and I love helping people, but know my limits. I’ve been in bed all morning crying instead of up looking for a job. He’s consumed me. He’s out working day after day. Mother for dinner last night, but no time for me. I asked him if I will hear from him last night. No response so I texted at midnight I waited patiently, nite xx He text this morning what for . No apology when I explained lovingly I was waiting for a goodnight kiss. I can’t live like this, it’s killing me. I was fine til he came back after six months breatk, but I can’t do it again, the time is too long and painful without him. Now I can’t let go again and it’s worse, the hold is so much worse, because I can’t bear to think we will never kiss, touch, make love every again he’s in control, that’s why. Someone is holding something you want so bad. I can’t bear it, this treatment to a lover is hideous. I’ve asked him to call me today and that I can’t meet in weeks for coffee in public, I need to see him now or talk now. I begged him to make love next time we meet or just hold eachother. He’s not opposed to holding, but he said if sex is involved he’s not interested. Like reverse psychology. No response. Ah just got one. It says working . No empathy. How does he operate. I just replied this and I’m feeling strong, but for how long: You always are, but have time four others. This isn’t love, this ia abuse (name). You clearly don’t care if I die. F . work when your best friend and lover is so dangerously upset over the way you are treating me. I agreed to stay in touch if you communicate and treat me better. You’re not and I’ve been so loving and patient and apologised til I gag. Ang, don’t give ultermatums unless you stand by them 100%, but do say how you want to be treated and set boundaries for yourself. How do you expect to be treated? See that and if this guy can’t give you that, but can make love to you he’s so wrong for you and baby. Take care of you and baby Ang and see a therapist if you have to it’s so worth it. Maybe some guys get girls pregnant so it keeps you off the market. It’s a male thing, they sew their oats. Woman are classed as s s. I’m going back to my therapist even though I feel I can’t tell anyone about my secret 34 year love affair. This breaks my heart, but I’m not crying since that text. I’m not responding today or tomorrow. I need to care for me now and get strong. See how I’ve called myself Doormat on this blog? It’s going in the bin.