This Tumblr Teaches You How To Make Women Orgasm, According To Anonymous Women

Tragically, way too many men have a tough time making women orgasm—if they’re able to do so at all. Fortunately, there’s a Tumblr account that can help men learn better ways to make women climax.

This blog, titled simply “How To Make Me Come,” is “a collection of anonymous essays by women talking about female orgasm.”

tumblr blog teaches how to make women orgasm according to anonymous women 2 This Tumblr Teaches You How To Make Women Orgasm, According To Anonymous Women

Why, you ask? They explained in their about section, “We wanted to start a dialogue about how women achieve sexual pleasure; something that is often ignored, devalued, or misunderstood. Here is our look into the spectrum of desire. Of frustration. Of experiences that have left an impact.”

The essay prompts included questions like, “Imagine you could give this essay to a past or future sexual partner, free of judgment or repercussion. What would you want them to know?” Other prompts were more general, like “What’s your relationship to orgasm, whatever that means to you?”

So what’d women have to say about how to make them come?

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One of the posts, #69, uses a step-by-step (for 17 total steps!) cookbook-style recipe to explain how to make a woman come:

Hands-on time: About 15 minutes
Recipe makes: 1-2 orgasms
Ingredients:
-You
-Me
-A soft bed
Directions:
1. Preheat. Want me.  Tell me you do. This will make me want you more. Be literally unable to keep your hands and mouth off of me.
2. Shower me with compliments. Genuine compliments. Go beyond “beautiful” and “sexy.” Tell me my breasts are peachy orbs of lusciousness. Tell me my eyes are like the sea. Kiss my nipples and tell me they taste sweet. Tell me you can’t stop kissing them. Note: I get bored after too much breast-play, but I like knowing that you can’t get enough of them.

In essay #14, the writer covers a lot of the basics (like “every woman’s body is different”), encourages us to “watch a video of Channing Tatum,” and explains why women like being on top:

tumblr blog teaches how to make women orgasm according to anonymous women 22 This Tumblr Teaches You How To Make Women Orgasm, According To Anonymous Women

When a woman is in charge of sex—when she is on top, riding you (during real sex; not in porn)—she grinds against you rather than just bouncing up and down. The main reason behind this is that women need that consistent, controlled clitoral stimulation, and that grind against the clit is what you should be trying to replicate when you are on top.

In post #63, one woman writes about the time she broke down into tears after her orgasm:

I felt the familiar surge of a woman-on-top orgasm, working its way to the surface from the inside out. As I came, something different arose, a warm tide of emotions rushing up from my core. Tears came in surges, little streams sneaking out from beneath my clenched eyelids, pooling in the space between his clavicle and his neck. I was flooded with a terrifying beauty I had yet to experience, swallowing me deeply into the moment. My rational mind was temporarily empty of judgment or discernment, unable to define these new sensations. These weren’t the tears of pain that I knew, sharp inhales and jerky exhales. The tears flowed as if the orgasm itself had contained some sort of mystical code to unlock them.

The author of post #13 writes to a “Gentle warrior,” and explains that “I know it’s strange that My Vagina has a Mayor and that mayor is a cat – but VAGINAS ARE WEIRD AND MYSTERIOUS PLACES.” The post is indeed weird and mysterious throughout, and concludes with this:

The tears come and they don’t stop coming. Wow, you’ve never cried like this before. Duh. That’s because a “G” spot orgasm is BIG FUCKING DEAL. It’s been a long journey. You’ve come a long way. But mostly, you DIDN’T GIVE UP. “Wait. Hold on. I still have this scrunchie. Why did you ask me to bring a scrunchie?” I just wanted to see if you’d bring it. And you did.

Post #40 keeps it simple, explaining orgasms like grilled cheeses:

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Making a woman come is like making a grilled cheese—low heat for a long time will melt beautifully, high heat right away will just burn the bread before anything good happens inside.

Essay #6 says that “Chivalry is the best lube”:

Nothing makes me wetter than a man holding a door open for me. Seriously. Offering your jacket when I’m cold, texting to make sure I got home okay, and making me walk on the inside of the sidewalk are all real panty droppers. Old school? Maybe. But nothing makes me feel like a lady more than a chivalrous man, and nothing makes me a lady more than my vagina. By the transitive property, the fastest way to my vagina is chivalry.

In essay #67, the author says it comes down to one thing: Care. But she has other tips as well:

Kiss down her body, kiss her thighs, lick her cleeut, one finger in and out, two fingers in and out, stay consistent, don’t have any major neck injuries or jaw pain, keep going till she’s done, get good at knowing when she’s done, and have a boner when she’s done. Bonus points for butt poking or licking, if the “she” is me.

tumblr blog teaches how to make women orgasm according to anonymous women 26 This Tumblr Teaches You How To Make Women Orgasm, According To Anonymous Women

You can read all 83 essays here.

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