17 Wedding Stories That’ll Make You Say “That B@#%!”

Weddings are all about surrounding yourself with family and loved ones to celebrate what will be one of the most important events of your life. In theory, it should be a very happy hunky dory affair right? Except when lots of family togetherness mixed with alcohol and the stress of such a life-altering event, gets a little…dicey. Putting that many people together is bound to create some kind of fireworks.

From the bridezilla who is hellbent on having things go her way to the psycho ex who tries to stop the wedding, a shit storm is bound to brew. There’s always someone at the source, “that bitch” came around in each of these cringeworthy and entertaining stories.

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1. foxymoron was a bridesmaid who witnessed a ceremony full of revenge.

I was a bridesmaid at this wedding. The groom’s ex girlfriend (who was not invited) snuck into the church, and as the bride and groom were exchanging vows, started smashing dishes and throwing pots and pans around the church kitchen in the basement. Groom’s sister dragged her outside and sat on her until the cops came. You can clearly hear the smashing on the wedding video.

Rachel, the sis was Air Force, former ice skater with thighs that could stop a freight train (we called her Wonder Thighs). There she was with her lilac satin bridesmaid’s gown hiked up around her waist, elegant up-do falling down, and bouquet shredded all over the church yard – basically sitting on Cheryl’s face, pinning her shoulders with those magnificent thighs. Cheryl had been making the groom and family miserable for months so Rachel seized the opportunity to take Cheryl down… all the way down… I’m talking DOWNTOWN!

2. eighty9sho‘s mother-in-law took a turn for the worst.

My mother-in-law physically attacked my wife of 3 hours in the parking lot, accusing us of “drinking too much” on our own wedding night. Got to be reminded of this our entire honeymoon, there were bruises on her shoulders. When confronted had no recollection of the events that occurred even though she was sober that night.

3. TheDongerNeedsFood‘s aunt stole the show at his parents’ wedding.

At my parent’s wedding almost 40 years ago, my aunt (mom’s older sister) got completely shitfaced, made her way into the pool house where she proceeded to get almost totally naked (I think the only thing she left on were her panties) then rushed out of the pool house screaming at the top of her lungs. My mom, who is literally the most non-confrontational person I have ever known, slapped her across the face as hard as she could, then didn’t speak to her for 6 years.

4. Neepha_Pheepha is going to have some real issues with her new family.

My mother-in-law mocked my 87-year-old grandfather for not being clean-shaven at the wedding. He had just had surgery and was on blood thinners, and I told him not to shave for fear of nicking himself. She also proceeded to tell her neice that my husband and I shouldn’t be getting married and I wasn’t good enough for her little boy… in the middle of the ceremony, loudly enough for the entire party to hear.

5. Jhouty‘s brother was the life of the party and not in a good way.

My brother climbed a tree, and then fell out of the tree. In full suit and tie. Sober. He also wore his trucker hat during pictures. He was a groomsmen. I’m preserving the evidence for when he gets married so he can realize how much of an ass he was.

6. desapaulecidos‘ first dance was forever tainted.

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7. Barimbino ‘s wife is a saint for not strangling her now ex-best friend.

My wife’s best friend was going to be her maid of honor. But after the dress sizing she never responded to any phone calls or texts. So we had to change our entire wedding line-up. Then the day of the wedding she texts my wife. “What time am I supposed to be there? ” my wife never text Her back and we had a great wedding.

8. At BANNEDFROMALAMO‘s wedding, racism was a family affair.

My father in law made a drunken and racist rant about me at our wedding. It was hilarious because my father made a drunken racist rant about my wife during the rehearsal dinner.

I am seriously looking forward to some family reunion time where I can accidentally have them both go out on my fishing boat and just let nature take its course.

9. TheFeralPixie‘s mother is a real piece of work.

She is my own mother. My husband and I decided that we would have a small ceremony at city hall and we could only have threw or four guests. My MIL and FIL were more than happy to go, but my own mother refused because it was too far of a drive and that she couldn’t afford it and that she would rather go to a “real” wedding. Told that we would pay for any expense and we would drive her. Nope. She told us she would go to the after party instead. I only needed to provide her with the address when we were on the way.

So on our way to the party I called and told her the address and she said who will be there. I told her immediate family and my god mother. She suddenly decides that she’s not going because of god mother and is laughing about how ridiculous I am for inviting her. So I hung up. We get to the party and we are having a good time when my mother decides to actually show up. She gets trashed on wine that my MIL offered. Makes me go outside with her so that she can cry about how she’s losing me for about a half hour until I make her go back inside because it was winter and it was freezing out.

Finally got her a ride home and had to listen to a delightful phone call the next day about how much she thought the party sucked.

10. BotBotGoose had a pretty childish “friend” try to steal her thunder.

It was ‘that bitches’ birthday she asked to put candles (that she brought) on the wedding cake and have the wedding party sing happy birthday

Edit: For some extra context she was a plus one of a friend and was about 35

 11. l0destone has one of the best and worst mother of the bride stories.

After the vows and the kiss, as the couple was walking together down the aisle, the mother of the bride stopped the recessional and announced that she and her husband were renewing their vows right then and there. The husband was mortified, but went along with it. After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn’t want all of that to “go to waste”.

Once they had renewed their vows, the bride’s mother invited everyone to the “joint reception”. Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the brides parents would be exchanging vows. Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the drunken and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother’s “special day”, called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left.

The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.

12. It may be the bride’s day, but size_matters_not didn’t see this coming.

The hotel brought the wrong main meal during the reception, and rather than just shrug it off and get compensation later, the bride insisted they cook the whole thing from scratch. For 100 people. This essentially brings the reception to an end as now all the guests have to wait an extra 2-3 hours to get dinner, pushing back the speeches to the end of the night. The evening guests waited in the bar all night, then went home without ever seeing the happy couple. There was no time for dancing.

That marriage didn’t last.

13. wretchedwrench may need to call the detectives at  “Law & Order: SVU”.

My new brother in law got wasted drunk and told everyone he wanted to fuck my 15 year old sister.

14. jurassic_snark watched her teacher’s wedding go up in flames.

My entire fourth grade class was in attendance at our teacher’s wedding where she was left at the altar.

The whole situation was ugly. My teacher was the bride and was about 3/4 down the aisle when the groom decided he couldn’t do it. He walked off to the side and at first my teacher and her father didn’t notice and kept walking, smiling radiantly. There was about a minute of really solid confusion (last minute cold feet? bathroom emergency?) before everyone realized what was going on. My teacher was whisked out of the church and an announcement was made that there was not going to be a wedding. This happened the second or third week of June; she didn’t come back for the last week of school.

15. magicalhands2014‘s tale is enough to make you never want to walk down the aisle. 

I was at the wedding for one of my sisters friends who was the bride. The Bride never showed up at the wedding and no one could find her. After several hours the groom and his family all went home. Turned out the bride went for a wild night of partying and sleapt with some guy she met at a club. She was passed out drunk at his place all day long before she came around and realized she missed her own wedding. She was out with a friend that did nothing to stop her from getting wasted and screwing around (I think her freind let her get carried away because she thought the bride wouldn’t have been a good wife and figured it was the easiest way to get the couple to split up).

The father of the bride was mad as hell about the expense of the wedding that came out of his pocket. The groom has since moved on with his own life, discovering the woman he was going to marry had cheated on him the night before their wedding made him break it off. He hasn’t gotten married but I hear he’s dating someone and it looks serious enough they may get married soon. The Bride has been having problems trying to get the respect of her family back after that stunt. She once tried to talk to me when I was single to see if we could go out. I told her flat out I had no interest in dating a woman who cheats like she does. We’ve not spoken since, much to my relief.

16. I don’t even know what to say about standrightwalkleft‘s wedding DJ.

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17. purplepatch ‘s dad witnessed the very definition of “awkward”. 

My dad went to a society wedding in the 90s in the UK. The ceremony went ahead without incident and they had got to the speeches. The groom stood up, said “I’d like to thank my beautiful wife and my brilliant best man, as they’ve been fucking each other for the past 6 months, cheers!” He downed his drink and walked out the back to stunned silence.

Apparently the father of the bride went round putting the corks back in the bottles shouting “Parties over, everyone out”. He seemed to think he could get money back on the booze.

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