10 Things You Never Knew About Blowjobs

While the history books are filled with many a first (the first airplane to circumnavigate the globe, the first radio transmission, and the first president), there is one very notable first that is sadly omitted: the BJ. Who honestly was it who took a look at the D and said, OK, put that in my mouth now?

After doing some research on the subject it appears there are some who trace fellatio back to prehistoric times. In fact, French paleontologist Yves Coppens suggested that the famous Lucy (the first prehistoric woman) did the job 3.2 million years ago. This underscores the belief that mammals have an inherent desire to explore their surroundings with their mouths.

But it is the Egyptians who leave us with the most traceable proof of oral sex (via cave paintings and myths alike), including some very well-hung hieroglyphic males doing it to themselves. Although it is hard to say exactly who was responsible for crossing the threshold into the nether regions for the first time, we did learn a lot in our quest for an answer. Here, 10 interesting takeaways from the hummer’s illustrious history.

1. In Ancient Rome men of status could receive, not give

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It was common practice in Roman times that noble men and soldiers were on the receiving end of the BJ, while slaves and lower class women would be the ones on their knees. Interestingly, the male was seen as the active participant of the act while the woman was seen as passive, as she was the one “receiving” the penis. Because Roman society was patriarchal and masculinity defined a person’s standing in society, it’s only fitting that blow jobs were an extension of that concept. In fact, a man looking to return the favor to his female lover was seen as a total loser.

2. In some cultures drinking sperm is said to impart virility

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In multiple cultures ingesting semen is a ritualistic act. In fact, the Chinese refer to it as “yang essence,” and to achieve enlightenment it should never be wasted. Ancient Chinese sex manuals, in fact, depict various ways men would transfer their semen from their “heavenly dragon pillars” to their brains. Even in modern times, there are tribes like the Sambia of Papua New Guinea who require young men to perform fellatio and ingest semen in order to crossover into adulthood.

3. In ancient India sucking a mango, not a banana, represented the BJ

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There is a chapter called “Auparishtaka,” AKA “oral congress,” in the Kama Sutra which gives a step by step guide for sucking the D (an act considered to bring the giver good karma). Here’s a particularly sweet passage: “When, in the same way, he puts the half of it into his mouth, and forcibly kisses and sucks it, this is called “sucking a mangoe fruit.” Well, damn…

 4. Fellatio was/is not OK according to the church

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As most of us know, any sex that is not for procreation purposes, according to many religions, is taboo. In the 19th century, it was announced that those who practiced onanism aka. fellatio, petting, lesbianism, or masturbation would receive dire consequences, including caning and whipping.  The influence of the religious stance against oral sex can still be seen in modern day, as veils serve in part to maintain the mouth’s purity, according to BJ history author, Theirry Leguay.

5. Cleopatra may have serviced many, many men at once

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Legend has it that the storied Egyptian queen blew more than 100 Roman noblemen during a marathon orgy. She was given the nickname “Meriochane,” which translates to something like “someone who gapes for 10,000 men” in today’s verbiage. No hate, Cleo.

6. Oral sex resurrected an Egyptian God

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This lofty the idea harkens to the Egyptian myth of Osiris, who was killed by his brother and brought back to life via his phallus being sucked by his sister. There’s more to the story, but that’s the gist. And that’s enough.

7. Blow jobs were once given as criminal punishment

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In Roman times punishment for breaking the law could be going down on the person you wronged. In fact, in the ruins of Pompeii, archaeologists uncovered graffiti that reads “Lahis fellat assibus duobus,” which translates as “Lahis gives head for half a sestence.”

9. Ancient Peruvians decorated pots with all kinds of sexual hijinks

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Turns out there was a civilization that existed between 100 to 800 AD (before the Incas) in Peru who created tens of thousands of ceramics, covered in sexual acts. These dirty objects featured people, deities, skeletons, or animals in compromising positions, as well as plenty of oral and plenty of random phalluses. These sex pots have been found mostly in high-status burials, and were often accompanied by other religious artifacts, thus are believed to have been used in rituals. If you Google “Moche Sex Pots” you will not be disappointed.

10. “Frenching” doesn’t mean kissing, it means, well, you know…

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In the Renaissance, “frenching” became shorthand for any type of genital kiss. It seems, at least according to a survey completed by Playboy, that the French have the upper hand on receiving oral, as they reported getting the most, followed Greeks, Brazilians, and Poles.  This term is still used in modern day slang. Vive la France!

Related-ish: A Gay Woman’s Oral Sex Advice To Men

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