This 8th Grader’s Dating Contract Is Mostly Not Insane

Relationships are hard work. Getting into a relationship is hard work too, and I’m not even talking about the nightmare that is dating (THE WORST), I’m talking about that whole figuring-out-what-we-are part of it all. Are we just hooking up? Are we exclusive? How casual is this on a scale of 1-10, and is it weird that I stalk your ex? You know, regular things.

But there’s a genius solution our dummy adult brains never even really considered— a relationship contract. Such ingenuity can only come from the mind of a kid-recently-turned-teenager, the aftermath of a child’s complete honesty mixed with a young adult’s inexplicable yet inevitable desire to be in a relationship. Max Linsky found such a contract in a middle school hallway, and it is one of the best things I’ve ever read in my entire life:

See Also: Oh No, This Man Told His Wife He’s Grossed Out By Her Vaginal Hygiene

Are you KIDDING ME? It’s perfect. This chick knows what she wants and she isn’t afraid to set boundaries. If I were to write a relationship contract it would BE THIS EXACT THING, with a couple of additions (You have to talk to me all the time EXCEPT when I don’t feel like talking to you.) No hugging, talking, or looking at these hoes, but fist bumps are chill. Just make sure your eyes are closed.

I have never been so straightforward in a relationship and tbh, I’m for sure worse off for it. Where is this girl? I want her for president.

Currently making one million copies to hand out to all future boyfriends/have my husband sign on our wedding day.

Also: 21 Wedding Guests On What Made Them Realize The Marriage Would End In Divorce

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