Your Favorite Curse Words Based On Your Zodiac

The week after memorial day always feels super long and we don’t know about you but the last five days have moved at a glacial pace. There’s no better way to get a little stress off your chest than through a good old fashioned curse word. But which one should you use? Let your Zodiac tell you…

Related-ish: What Sex Toy Will Get You Off Based On Your Zodiac Sign?


Aries

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You’re the leader of the Zodiac and you are a real trendsetter in every aspect of your life. You march to your own drummer and aren’t afraid to say what  you mean. Not many could pull off a casual drop of “Tits Mcgee,” but you can.

Taurus

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Taurus is strong like bull and can quickly sniff out any nonsense going on. You’re instincts are almost always dead on, and because of that you are quick to call bullshit on things almost immediately.

Gemini

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There is a lot of duplicity in your character Gemini. You can be indecisive and inquisitive or emotional and standoffish at the same time. You’re the kind of person to love someone one day then consider them a little bitch the next.

Cancer

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You are emotional and super intuitive. Because you are quick to respond to a situation that upsets you, you can quickly figure out who’s good in your life and who’s not. You’re not someone who wastes time on dickwads who aren’t worth it.

Leo

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Leo you are a confident chick and you definitely know your own worth. Pricks may be intimated by you because let’s be honest, you got it going on, but in general, you are a loving soul and constantly keep good friends around you.

Virgo

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Ah, the virgin of the Zodiac, dear Virgo you are an independent woman! You tend to favor routine and sticking close to things you know. Any bastard who is dumb enough to stand in your way will be quickly removed and reprimanded.

Libra

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Hey Libra, you been looking good lately. All that pre-summer beautification has paid off and you are beach ready! It’s a good time for you to buy some new clothes and get ready for a few months of fun! If there are any fuck boys in your path tell them to move over.

Scorpio

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You don’t take ANY shit Scorpio, but you know that already. As one of the toughest signs in the Zodiac, you are incredibly adept at expressing yourself and calling someone a “shitlicker” when they deserve it.

Sagittarius

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As a Sag you are a thinker. You like to ponder life, but are also a positive person, who is always willing to try something new. Grab life by the balls, and make sure you spend this summer doing as much exciting shit as possible!

Capricorn

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You’re a practical person and you always see anything you do through until it is completed to the best of your ability. You have a knack for quick thinking and for telling a jackass to go fuck himself when he should.

Aquarius

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Smart yet silly with refreshing wit, Aquarius is the quirkiest sign of the Zodiac. You’re a magnetic personality and have a lot of inner strength. People are drawn to you because you’re able to say words like “assclown” and it sounds totally normal.

Pisces

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Pisces, because you are a water sign you have a lot of depth to your character. You are imaginative and reactive and can sometimes find your feelings fluctuating, like they were on a boat, or a douche canoe, as the case may be.

Related-ish: Your Weekly Love Life Horoscope

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