15 Men Who Have No Fucking Clue How The Female Body Works

It’s seriously concerning how many people aren’t learning a damn thing in their health classes these days. What happened to sex ed? Is the education system just assuming parents are going to relay this vital info? If so, some people are really falling down on the job. Especially when it comes to men and their (lack of) knowledge of the female anatomy.

How do you get to your young adulthood being so clueless? No we do not pee out of our vaginas and no we cannot hold in our periods. What in the actual fuck? The following Reddit users dish on all of the most ridiculous myths men really believe about our bodies. If these aren’t an indictment of the education system, I don’t know what is.

See Also: 16 Women On The Most Shocking Things They Learned By Living With A Man


1. This individual is under the impression that menstrual cycles are unnatural. (via  PM_me_a_scary_thing)

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2. _ahsatan had to teach his family about where the pee comes out.

I just taught my sister-in-law (26) and my husband (31) that women do not, in fact, pee from the clit. What are the most ridiculous ideas you’ve heard about the female body?

3. thumper5‘s boyfriend believed in a period myth we could only dream of.

That you can “hold” your period blood the same way you can hold your pee. I had an incredibly stupid boyfriend once that wouldn’t stop at a gas station on our way someplace because he thought I could just hold it til we got there.

ETA: that women only use one pad/tampon per period. That pads/tampons/etc aren’t necessary hygiene items.

4. This woman has an extremely disturbing theory for why vaginas smell. (via lady-linux)

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5. wicksa, a labor and delivery nurse overheard her fare share of ridiculous myths.

Oh, my time to shine! I am an L&D nurse and I hear some weird shit, especially from teen moms.

“My friend told me that if I douched with sprite after having sex, I couldn’t get pregnant.” – 16 year old in labor

“I tried to schedule a c section because my pussy is really tight and I know a baby ain’t gonna fit through there. The doctor wouldn’t let me.” The baby did indeed fit with no assistance (meaning no vaccuum or forceps, a doctor was totally there haha).

5 foot tall 120 lb girl who looks so pregnant it’s like she swallowed a beach ball, hasn’t had her period in 9+ months, is sexually active, shows up to ER with abdominal pains (contractions!): “I didn’t know I was pregnant.”

“I’m not going to breastfeed because I am afraid it will turn me on too much. I like nipple play during sex.”

6. One man believes that a correlation exists between the thigh gap and size of your vagina. (via Redditor dustinyo_)

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7. punchyourfacein encountered a man who was in desperate need of a lesson on childbirth.

That if a woman cannot give birth through the birth canal the Dr will finagle things so the baby comes out the asshole. I thoroughly assured the guy who said this that this was impossible but he insisted that was how his grandmother gave birth.

8. There was an anti-abortion lawmaker asked why women couldn’t just swallow a camera to expedite the process of getting a gynecological exams.

During a debate over an anti-abortion bill, a Republican lawmaker in Idaho asked Monday whether women can just swallow a tiny camera in order to conduct a gynecological exam remotely with a doctor.

According to the Associated Press, Idaho Rep. Vito Barbieri (R) posed the bizarre question to Dr. Julie Madsen, who was testifying against a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing medication abortion via webcam unless they have examined the woman in person. Madsen had to explain to Barbieri that swallowed items, like pills, do not land in the vagina.

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9. QuaereVerumm‘s ex had no clue how periods work.

Similarly, my ex didn’t realize periods were a continuous flow and didn’t understand why I always had to keep pads and tampons on me. He was pretty shocked when he found out. “You mean you’re just…bleeding…THE WHOLE TIME??” I’m like, “well, periods don’t take coffee breaks…”

10. crossbeats‘s highschool friend thought tampons were multi-functional.

I remember a guy friend in high school telling me to pee into my tampon while we were on a bus ride and I had to pee. The entire bus came to a screeching halt, and that’s the day I ended up showing 15 of my closest guy friends what a tampon looks like and explaining how it works.

11. A [deleted]

user talked about another commenter who didn’t quite understand why women need toilet paper.

There was that guy who posted on here asking about why his wife and daughters needed toilet paper after urinating. He asked why they couldn’t just “shake it off.”

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12. hickpick‘s first boyfriend believed vaginas morph like silly putty.

My first boyfriend believed in that myth that states that when you start having sex with the same person, your vagina conforms to the shape of his penis, so if it feels different than usual to him, it means you fucked someone else. How does that even make any sense…

13. Someone told SocialIQof0 that your period makes you more susceptible to STD’s.

Years ago someone much older than me told me you could get AIDS from toilet seats when you’re on your period because your period is an “open wound”.

14. KatieAlison‘s boyfriend thought chins were a sign of virginity.

When I was in school I had a bf that always looked at my chin. He stared at it and it started creeping me out, so I asked him what he was doing. He confessed that he didnt believe I was a virgin and was looking for the skin under my chin that you lose when you have sex. To this day I still dont understand what he was talking about.

15. MsNewKicks was told a very disturbing myth in junior high.

Back in middle school, was told that once you have sex you’re vagina would be loose and when you run, it’ll make a clapping sound.

What can you say…middle schoolers.

giphy 2 15 Men Who Have No Fucking Clue How The Female Body Works

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