18 One-Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

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Approximately ~99% of one-night stands are tales of regret, to be told over a mimosa-fueled brunch surrounded by the good homies and forgotten shortly thereafter. Regrettable, but tolerably so.

Except when they aren’t (tolerable that is.) Like when body liquids aside from the obvious one play a role. Or when parents are involved. Or when halfway through hooking up, you realize the person you’re making out with is actually a human-sized troll doll and where are you, anyway?


Related-ish: People Share F’ed Up Tales Of Catching Their Cheating Partners In The Act


1.

The morning after a one night stand his mom came in and gave me a onesie to wear before talking to us for 2 hours. So awkward.%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

2.

The morning after a one night stand, I was woken up by the cable guy at the door. I didn%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

3.

On a one night stand I vomited into the guy%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

4.

I got caught faking an orgasm once during a one night stand. Totally killed the mood.%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

5.

One time I wet the bed after a very drunk one night stand. Luckly, he thought it was a spilt beer.%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

6.

I suddenly got my period during sex in a one-night-stand yesterday The guy thought I was a virgin and he left my house in seconds%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

7.

I threw up on a one night stand and all over his bed, he didn%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

8.

I had a one night stand last night, and she was only supposed to stay at my house for one day. Worst part: I still don%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

9.

I once convinced a one night stand that we didn%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

10.

I once sobered up during a one night stand and realized the guy was horrible so I just got up and left during the middle of having sex%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

11.

Woke up from a one night stand. The girl was gone and so was my pillow. Who does that?!%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

12.

I had a one night stand with a guy that ripped my $120 shirt, in the morning before I left I took $100 out of his wallet%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

13.

One time a guy started pushing my boobs up and down while singing, "George, george, george of of the jungle" It was the most awkward morning after a one night stand that I%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

14.

My one night stand left his wallet at mine, and when I checked his facebook so I could return it, I saw that he has a girlfriend. So I handed the wallet in where she works, just to fuck with him.%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

15.

This morning i went through my routine without thinking twice. It was after i lifted my legs in the air and farted i remembered i had my one night stand next to me%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

16.

Almost had a one night stand last night. As he walked away naked to grab something from the bathroom I noticed the piece of toilet paper stuck between his cheeks. I told him I was sick and left.%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

17.

I had a one night stand once with a girl I met at a bar who kept stratching. A week later, my bed and apartment was completely infested by Bed Bugs. I learned my lesson about one night stands.%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

18.

Met my moms new boyfriend. Hmm, why did look so familiar? That%name 18 One Night Stand Confessions That’ll Make You Never Want To Have One Again

See Also: 16 Women On The Most Shocking Things They Learned By Living With A Man

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