15 Small Victories For Every Woman On Her Period

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Periods suck. Period. Every woman knows this fact. Not only to we feel about 400 pounds and hideous, we want to cry, scream, barf, poop, eat and fuck all at the same time. Day one is complete and utter death, day two is bloodier than Gettysburg, day three is crampy, emo and uncomfortable… and it goes on like this until nature decides to let us rejoin the human race, usually 5 to 10 days later. Then the whole shitty cycle starts over again.

Because we don’t want to simply give up and kill ourselves, we brainstormed on the few silver linings to losing our uterine lining that exist, and found at least 15…

Related-ish: 21 Pictures That Are Just Fucking Funny To Anyone Who’s Had A Period

1. Finding a tampon at the bottom of your purse on day 1


2. Eating everything in sight and not giving a shit

3. Having an excuse to wear badass panties

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4. Treating yourself to a good old-fashioned ugly cry…over nothing

5. Staying in your pajamas all-day without feeling like a slob

6. Having giant knockers for a few days

7. Finding a tampon machine that gives out free tampons


8. Getting no-questions-asked sympathy from the squad

9. Feeling guilt-free about skipping the gym

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10. Finally putting a heating pad on your uterus and chocolate in your mouth


11. Realizing you’re definitely not fucking pregnant


12. Finding half a Vicodin in your cabinet from your wisdom tooth surgery


13. Watching your man squirm in the feminine hygiene aisle


14. Having the perfect excuse to avoid sex if you’re not interested


15. But also having an excuse to masturbate as much as you want because orgasms help your cramps

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Related-ish: 12 Things You Need To Know Before Waxing, You Know, Down There

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