It turns out that Nils Sjoberg is actually Taylor Swift, AKA the co-writer of Calvin Harris’ summer 2016 banger ‘This Is What You Came For.’ That’s what her rep said, anyway, meaning our boy had no choice but to respond in the only way celebrities know how: Twitter.
But before we dive into Harris’ meltdown, let’s quickly recap the aftermath of their apparently one-sided breakup: Taylor breaks up with Calvin, they each delete all evidence of one another off each others’ social medias, Taylor starts jetting all over the world with absolute heartthrob Tom Hiddleston– a development that understandably infuriates Harris, especially when he learns Tom has already introduced Tay to his mom. And now we’ve come full circle. *Rubs hands together in glee*
Harris’ Twitter tirade quickly escalated from a confirmation of Swift’s involvement with ‘This Is What You Came For’ and praise of her talent to what can only be described as a shade shitstorm.
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He’s all, yeah, Taylor played a part in the track, but I basically did everything to make it come together.
Then he’s all, why, Taylor, why?!?
Annnnnd here comes the pettiness. Anytime a new boyfriend is brought up by an old one, all argumentative credibility sort of goes out the window.
Finally, the Shade Whopper to top all whoppers:
OHHHHH snap! The earrings are off! The gloves are off! It’s BEEF! Calvin is probably referencing Taylor’s feud with Katy Perry, which Perry herself confirmed with this shade-filled tweet:
This also seems petty and completely irrelevant to the situation but whatever! More drama! I love it!
Calvin goes on to tell Taylor she earned a great life, which, let’s be honest, she’s probably already well aware of:
And ends with this tweet, which seems oddly reminiscent of a Kanye West-ism:
Anyway, we’ll be over here enthralled, eating popcorn, waiting for Taylor’s response because Taylor has to respond, right? RIGHT? She’s got people commenting snake Emojis all over her Instagrams, for crying out loud!
Leave Ruby Rose out of this!!!
This isn’t the first time Calvin has been known to lash out and engage in generally bizarre behavior following the end of a relationship. After Rita Ora and Calvin Harris split last year, the star dropped some juicy information to Marie Claire, cryptically noting how the breakup allowed her more musical freedom and how Harris legally forbade her from performing the track at the Teen Choice Awards- “I thought he had my back and that he’d never steer me wrong,” she said of Harris. “But then ‘I Will Never Let You Down’ came out, and everything started to go a bit weird. I don’t know if it was because business was mixed with personal or what.”
What does it all mean? Whose side am I supposed to be on here? What does Tom think of all this?!?!