The problem with modern dating is that there are just too many fuckboys, and many of them work diligently to make sure they don’t seem like a fuckboy right off the bat. While some might try and fail at hiding their fuckboy ways, some are actually pretty slick at hiding it.
Here are ten clues that the guy you’re interested in is really just a fuckboy in nice packaging.
1. The way he behaves seems like it’s an act.
He’s polite — perhaps overly so. He’s laughing at your jokes, but it seems forced. When he’s talking about relationships, he’s already discussing your future children’s names. If your gut is saying he isn’t completely serious, chances are he’s just putting up a front so he can get laid.
2. His past has a LOT of drama related to women.
He has an ex that won’t stop yelling at him. Another woman is suing for child support. He’s denying being the father of a child. He’s been caught cheating on a former fiancée. Whatever the deal is, you can be sure that a guy that has insane amounts of drama in his love life has received that hate because of his fuckboy actions.
3. You get the feeling that he doesn’t want to spend money on dates.
There’s only so many times that stargazing and Netflix can be considered romantic. If he never seems to shell out a dollar on a restaurant or a museum trip, he might be a stealth fuckboy just looking for a cheap date.
4. He blows people off without warning, then expects them to just “deal with it.”
This is a classic fuckboy move, and stealth fuckboys might just give a warning that they are very “busy” with their careers. Even if they were busy, real men still find time for the ones they want. Even if you only see him doing that to others, it’s a bad sign. What’s stopping him from doing it to you, eventually?
5. He has a lot of female friends that give you uneasy vibes.
Oh, he swears they’re “just friends,” but he still won’t let you meet them. If you press the issue, he accuses you of being jealous for no reason. If you have met them, the girls always seem like they’re staring razors into you. Moreover, he never introduces you to them as a girlfriend. To them, you’re just “his friend,” too.
6. Though he treats you well, he treats other people around him like shit.
This is a sign that he’s only sweet to you in order to get in your pants.
7. You can’t help but notice that his date locations are suspiciously lazy.
He invites you to his apartment, to the coffee shop near his apartment, or to the all-you-can-eat buffet near his apartment. The reason why his date ideas seem so effortless is because he’s a fuckboy who doesn’t like the idea of putting in work.
8. He’s overly proud of his career.
At first, this seems like a great thing, but be careful! A guy who can’t stop boasting about how much money he makes, what firm he works at, or his Ivy league degree often feels like he’s entitled to sex because he’s successful. He might even say he “deserves” a modelesque woman because of how hard he works. Attitudes like this don’t get any more fuckboy.
9. He only talks about himself.
Fuckboys seek validation by sleeping with women; they don’t see women as people with interests. Rather, fuckboys see them as objects that can make them feel validated. If he’s only talking about himself, it’s very likely that he just wants you to sit there, validate him, and sleep with him.
10. You get the feeling that he’s testing you.
Stealth fuckboys want to see how much bullshit they can get away with before they really show their true colors. Don’t tolerate his bullshit.
11. “Sorry” isn’t in his vocabulary.
Because admitting that he’s a failure of a man would be admitting defeat.
12. He told you to “take it slow and see where it goes.”
This is a classic line that typically means the same things as “I don’t know what I want” or “I’m not looking for anything serious.” In other words, he’s not serious about you.
13. He’s overly obsessed with traveling and “finding himself.”
It’s not that a guy who says this can’t be tied down, it’s that guys who are usually talking about traveling the world before they marry use that excuse as a reason to avoid commitment.
14. Gym and club-hopping is his life.
Shallow activities tend to suggest a shallow person underneath it all. If he’s constantly focused on looking good and living a music video-ready life, he’s quite likely a fuckboy who just wants to show off his arm candy.
15. You get the feeling that his idea of “spirituality” is actually just an excuse to get laid.
Looking at you, Mr. Tantra.
Originally published by Ossiana Tepfenhart at YourTango.