15 Spouses On The Weirdest Shit Their S.O. Has Said While Sleeping

Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep? Better yet, have you ever heard anyone else talk in their sleep? The subconscious is such a mysterious thing. People dream and say the weirdest things without any awareness of what’s going on around them.

In fact, you may never know you’re a sleep talker until someone tells you. I’ve been told that I sing in my sleep sometimes, not well I’m sure, but how random is that? Once you start sleeping next to someone every night, one of you is bound to notice the other one’s sleeping habits.

So we took to Reddit to find out the most bizarre things spouses have heard their SO’s say while asleep and they did not disappoint.

See Also: 19 Wives Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves About Their Husbands

1. Apparently, bunchofclowns was sticking up for the snakes.

According to her just last week I was mumbling in my sleep and when she asked me what was wrong I said….”Are you going to make up for what you did? You made a lot of people upset.” When she asked me what it was that she did I replied…. “When you told the world that snakes aren’t here to help”
Then fell right back asleep.

2. If we were Egan93, we would’ve noped right on out of there.

My boyfriend talks in his sleep with his eyes open a lot. This one night I was having trouble sleeping and heard some kind of a noise that freaked me out, so I cuddled in closer to him. He turned over, looked me dead in the face and said “I can’t protect you. When they come they’re just going to kill me.” I immediately moved the fuck away from him. Next thing I know he latches onto me from behind and just starts laughing. I was pretty much certain I was about to die.

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3. Silent_Tortoise‘s ex had a monkey problem to deal with.

My ex actually had a hilarious habit of sleep-talking. She often had no idea she was doing it; it was like the part of her brain tasked with interpreting questions and responding stayed on, but the rest of her was off. I once asked her “Do you mind scooting over?” and the response I got was “I’ll deal with the monkeys tomorrow”.

I ended up waking her up because I started laughing until I was crying.

4. Eizziljam had no idea she was sleeping with a king.

Oh my husbands sleep talk is hilarious! I write it down!! This is probably the funniest Him: I’m going to change my name Me: what to? Him: KING frediriko King frediriko of the walnuts Not king of THE walnuts just king of walnut Like prince of orange.

5. You’re a wizard, WhibblyCheese.

I was asked if I was comfortable; my response was “I don’t know but I’m thinking of bending these pipe cleaners into glasses so I look like Harry Potter”.


6. CubanRefugee‘s wife might be my spirit animal.

Last night, I was cuddling up with my wife while she was asleep, rubbed her stomach a bit, and she said, “Don’t touch my manimal.”

She doesn’t remember any of it, but it definitely killed any momentum I had.

7. Na_mate‘s partner wasn’t going to let those fish drown.

My partner loves fish. Like, 5 fish tanks and over 100 fish, loves fish. One night I was woken up by him loudly saying “we have to take the fish out of the tank or they will die!” multiple times. I was confused until I realise he was asleep. I asked why we had to take them out of the tank. His response? “THEY’RE ALL GOING TO DROWN!” I laughed so hard I couldn’t go back to sleep.

8. Work never stops for avacynangelofhope‘s SO.

Mine sat bolt upright in bed and left a full voicemail for a client of his, including dates and times. He ended with his usual signoff, lay back down and went right back to sleep.

9. crystalbarricade‘s partner might’ve had some pent up rage.

My partner and I were sleeping in bed one night in my apartment. It’s Autumn so it’s just starting to get cold at night. He nuzzles into me and asks if I want more blankets. I assume he’s awake and I agree.

Then he straight up decks me in the face.

It was enough to wake him up immediately and he still gets flustered about it to this day.

10. At least Andtheniwillbreakyou‘s SO knows how to defend herself.

Came back home from an overnight shift, walked into the bedroom at around 7am while the SO was still asleep. I ask her to move over a little bit, she responds to this by elbowing, kicking and punching at me from her side-sleeping posture. I am so confused. I nudge her a little more and she goes, “Oh…i thought you were a rapist..” flips over and went back to sleep. No memory of the incident.

11. sofa_king_adorable might not have an SO after this dream.

My ex spoke in his sleep.

One time he said “mmmmm Stacey mmmmm”

Didn’t think much of it because I get sex dreams with random people.

The next day I was on our ipad when he gets a “let’s meet up 😉 xx” text from, you guessed it, Stacey.


12. UnusuallyFamiliar and her SO have the most loving relationship.

boyfriend sleeping next to me, I was awake

Him: I luhyoo

Me: hmm?

Him: I. Love. You.

Me: aww love you too

Him:….ffffuck you

13. I really want to know what MustangLover89‘s fiancé was dreaming about.

My fiance rolled onto her side facing me, cocked back her arm and punched me in the side of the head. She did this while screaming “This is my T-rex! Find another ride you ass pterodactyl!” Biggest wtf moment of my life so far.

14. would–you–kindly‘s SO has been watching too much Stranger Things.

Most recently. She was clearly having a nightmare so I tried waking her up. Instead of waking up she says “there’s something under the bed….it’s coming to get you”. So naturally I noped the fuck out and hopped out of bed to turn the bathroom light on. After she woke up for real she explained she was having a nightmare about Stranger Things. That’s not even the weirdest thing she’s said/done in her sleep.

15. What in the actual fuck is going on with Zs2k‘s fiancé?

Me and my fiance had just moved in together and she was asleep, she said “the turtle ate the baby, but I eat babies” I said what and she replied “gimme baby squash penelope”

My names not penelope, still a little uneasy thinking it’s demons and shit

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See Also: 17 People Shared Their Disgusting Little Secrets And The Results Were Hilariously Disturbing

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