Uhh, Turns Out Usain Bolt Has Never Actually Run A Full Mile

You may have heard of Usain Bolt. He’s a Jamaican sprinter, the fastest man in the world, and holds the world record for both the 100 and 200 meter since fully automatic timing became the mandatory system of world record choice—so, 1977. Last Sunday, Bolt won the 100-meter race in a matter of 9.81 seconds, almost impudently smiling for the camera in a now-iconic photograph. As competitors struggle, Bolt seems to actually be having fun.

 

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Cameron Spencer/ Getty Images

But Bolt is a sprinter, and inherently doesn’t really do long-distance running. The New Yorker recently posted the question, “How fast would Usain Bolt run the mile?”

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Cameron Spencer/ Getty Images

They concluded he would finish in about 5 minutes, which is hella fast for your average American but small potatoes compared to conditioned long-distance runners or other Olympians. The New Yorker mentioned how precedents set by sprinters-turned-distance-runners didn’t bode well for Bolt.

Too bad we’ll probably never know. “Usain has never run a mile,” Bolt’s agent Ricky Simms told The New Yorker.

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John MacDougall/ Getty Images

So, you know, if you start training to run a 5-minute mile right now you may be faster than Usain Bolt at running a mile, but maybe not. Also, who ya kidding? You know you like memes more than you like running you lazy goober.

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(You’re welcome)

Related-ish: Olympic Divers Covered In Accidental Censor Bars Are Giving Us Lady Boners

 

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