7 Things That Will Make You A More Badass Mom

When you have kids, the first thing you obsess on is how to keep them alive. After that, it’s a plethora of obsessions: learning who this tiny person is, snuggling, meeting other moms, adjusting your partner relationship to its new normal and cute outfits for your babe. You begin to realize how everything you do affects your mothering (no pressure), and that’s serious motivation to embrace anything that you know will contribute to a more authentic, whole, and badass you.

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Motherhood can be exhausting, hilarious, rewarding and draining, all at once, and the more badass you feel, the easier it is to take each day of mothering as it comes.

1. Honor your time as a person, not just a mom.


Sometimes it’s just twenty minutes of yoga on YouTube. Getting your nails done. Taking a half-hour to work on the painting you’re slowly finishing. Whatever it is, take time to honor yourself as a human being who has needs beyond which mothering can fill. It’s one of the most repeated refrains from moms with a lot of experience for a reason.

2. Make your kid laugh — because laughing is awesome.
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Laughing with someone is one of the simplest, best ways to bond, and when you laugh with your child, magic happens. It releases tensions from any bumps in the road that day, relaxes you and your child, and brings that endorphin hormone rush. So watch Bugs Bunny get conked with a hammer, or pop bubbles on your face, whatever gives you the giggles.

3. Actually take an interest in your kid.


Inevitably your child is going to have interests and even fascinations that you just don’t get, but one of the most validating experiences for a child is to have a parent actively interested in or engaged with a pastime or interest they adore. If you can’t stand football and your child is immersed in it, you can still ask questions, toss a ball back and forth, find a way in to your child’s world and mind.

4. Be completely and totally spontaneous.


Children are alive in the now in a way many adults have totally forgotten how to be. One of the best things about having kids is how being with them can pull you into the immediate moment, and give life new vitality. Riding along with the spontaneous nature of kids isn’t, of course, always possible, but it’s a wonderful go-to on a regular basis: right now, in this moment, what should we do? Run through the sprinklers, go get double-decker ice cream cones, have a fort-building contest and sleep in the living room. Your kids will love you for it.

5. Give tons of kisses and hugs.


Children thrive on love. Some kids may not want to be frequently hugged or kissed, and that’s important to respect, but they still need affection. This can come in many forms: praise, a smile with eye contact, or asking for a hug or snuggle and letting them come to you.

6. Love yourself — you deserve it.


One of the most powerful ways we can be a badass mom is to love ourselves, and show our kids that we do. Whatever we look like, sound like, whatever package we come in, whatever our circumstances, or how we struggle, we are worthwhile, we are valuable, and we can be powerful in ourselves and our spirit. When children have a mother who, though she struggles because she’s human!, loves herself, the child will reap many lasting and irreplaceable benefits.

7. Be honest — the struggle is REAL.

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What struggle? The one that your child can see, hear and feel with their own common sense, but no one is talking about. That one. Protecting our children is important, but there are times when it’s not possible. When kids know that something hard is happening, but no one is telling them what it is, they use their imagination.

Even if what they are imagining isn’t as bad as what it is, there is always a way to talk to children about hard things in an age appropriate manner; even if we might need some advice on how to go about doing that, it’s worth doing. Silence breeds fear and insecurity. Healthy though hard discussions that allow for open airing of emotions and words of support and love create a healthy child emotionally, and strengthen the trust and closeness your child feels for you. What is more badass than that?

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