6 Rom-Coms That Would Work Better As Horror Movies

While I have a soft spot for romantic comedies, I will be the first to admit that their plots and storylines often border on deranged and — in some instances — horrific. After all, most of the premises hinge on inordinate amounts of lies and deception, not to mention obsessive behavior.

Wouldn’t it be more fun to just add a lil’ blood and guts and call it an unrealistic day?

Here are just a few movies which I nominate for horror movie adaptations. Given Hollywood’s recent proclivity for remakes, I think we can make these happen:

Related-ish: Which A-list Actress Would Play You In A Rom-Com?

The Proposal

proposal 6 Rom Coms That Would Work Better As Horror Movies

Revised plot summary: A powerful woman traps her unwilling superior into a faux engagement, threatens him, and performs satanic rituals in the woods. 

Seriously, though — what about this scenario is supposed to inspire romance? In what world does coercing someone into a relationship ever engender actual affection? Answer: it never does. Which is why this setup would work much better as a horror movie, Fatal Attraction-style (and yes, that movie is definitely, sort of a horror film, so don’t even start).

You’ve Got Mail

youvegotmail 6 Rom Coms That Would Work Better As Horror Movies

Revised plot summary: A mysterious, wealthy businessman cyber-stalks a total stranger, manipulates her, and kills her business.

Nothing more romantic than a man who undermines your livelihood and belittles your existence, all while stringing you along via email like some sort of puppet! Too bad that sounds like somebody who would also try to murder you!

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

how to lose a guy

Revised plot summary: Woman displays increasingly alarming and erratic behavior in an effort to drive her partner to the brink of insanity.

Again: a plot devised against someone is only cute to a certain extent. If you’re going to begin a relationship by assuming an alternate identity, you had better be a secret agent or a sociopath. This movie would be so much better if we were at least allowed to acknowledge that Kate Hudson’s (and Matthew McConaughey’s) behavior was predatory.

Just Friends

justfriends 6 Rom Coms That Would Work Better As Horror Movies

Revised plot summary: A man is spurned by the object of his affection and spends the rest of his adolescence plotting against her …

Because if a woman is willing to be your friend, she is contractually obligated to give you sex. Oh wait, no — that is AN ACTUAL HORROR MOVIE.

Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason

bjones 6 Rom Coms That Would Work Better As Horror Movies

Revised plot summary: Delusional woman drives away everyone she loves by climbing on roofs in a fit of paranoia. 

The first Bridget Jones’ Diary was delightful, I will admit. It it one of those rare “quality romantic comedies.” The sequel, however, is shameful. Whereas the previous Bridget Jones was charming and befuddled, the new iteration is psychotic and would probably end up killing anyone who would dare break up with her. A failure as a romantic comedy — but a pretty decent idea for a horror movie.

27 Dresses

27dresses 6 Rom Coms That Would Work Better As Horror Movies

Revised plot summary: Lonely woman collects wedding mementos in an effort to force people to be her friends.  

Can you even FATHOM how much tulle there would be in 27 whole dresses?? There is no Manhattan closet large enough to fit such ostentatious outerwear. And honestly, while I respect a certain amount of sentimentality, keeping almost 30 gowns from old weddings is symptomatic of some sort of perverse worldview. STAY AWAY FROM ANYONE WHO HOARDS TAFFETA GOWNS, Y’ALL.

Related-ish: Which Horror Film You Should Watch, Based On Your Favorite Adult Beverage

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