Teaching is by far the most under appreciated profession. Being around kids all day everyday has to be absolutely draining, but they work so hard to give their students what they need. Teachers have hundreds of young minds to mold and through the good days and bad, they never give up. I can’t say enough about how great our teachers are. We would be so very lost without them.
Like any job, though, there are coworkers you enjoy and those who make your life a little more difficult. For teachers, this usually pertains to the students. So, when Reddit asked its teachers and professors the most pretentious thing they’ve heard a student say, we had to comb through and share the best responses with you.
1. HereComesBadNews‘ student was overcompensating to say the least.
“I deserve an A for this course because I was a model student.”
I’ve heard some whoppers, but this one came from a student who completed, I think, 2 of the 5 required papers (and both were shit), missed half of the classes, was 15+ minutes late every time he did show up, never participated in discussions, and didn’t turn in a single homework assignment. To this day, the lack of self-awareness boggles my mind.
2. Luckily, knight_of_selesny‘s student got a nice dose of karma.
“Next year, you’re still going to be here bullshitting, and I’m going to be making it big in the real world.”
He got held back. He is not in my class this year.
3. anchulautot had a real prick on his hands.
Middle schooler said “I’m only taking Spanish so I can tell my housekeeper what she needs to do.”
4. We don’t know what jibbodahibbo said back to this kid.
4th grader, “I don’t need to do good in school. I can go to any college I want my parents are rich”
5. lilmommy89 did not give one fuck who his student’s father was.
“Do you KNOW who my father is?”
His dad was the head of the school board. No fucks were given that day. I’ve also had a kid say:
“Didn’t you wear that outfit last week? Hahahaha!” (This was at a very wealthy school)
6. bruno-s probably saw that coming.
First year grad student stayed after on Day 1 to tell me, “Just so you know, I’m going to be very bored in your class. But it’s not your fault – I just already know everything you’re going to talk about.” She completed the course with a D-, failed both of her other classes, lost her funding, and now works at Panda Express.
7. Damn, the girl in kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf‘s story was not the sharpest pencil in the box.
Wasn’t there in person, but this was relayed to me by a classmate.
Girl was in surgery rotation in medical school. Despite being told to be careful, she knocks over a sterile instrument tray right before they’re about to cut into the person who was already under anesthesia. The lead surgeon flips his shit and tells all the students to get the fuck out.
“You can’t kick me out of here, I’m paying for this.”
She had to look through the windows into the OR for 2 week.
8. Oh lord, dr239 was in for real awkward conversation.
Not from a student, but from the student’s parent: “He doesn’t need to do math, ’cause he’s a prophet! Prophets don’t do math! Would you make Jesus do math?”
9. Secretly_psycho probably kept it a lot cooler than we would have if a kid said this to us.
“My mom pays your salary, so give me an A.”
10. The student in Sw6roj‘s story sounds like one of my least favorite people.
Not personally, but while I was student teaching in a wealthy area, another teacher told me he heard a student say that their parents got them a crappy car, but it was just until they totaled it. Then after they destroyed it and learned their lesson, they’d get a Ferrari.
11. Not sure how prof_h_h handled that student for an entire semester.
A student asked me why I was a professor, followed by “Because, from what I understand, those who can’t do, teach.”
12. MIKEl281 sure taught that college kid a lesson.
I once overheard a student in the college level science major specific class that I teach say “I wonder if this teacher will be able to tell me something I don’t already know” and apparently I did because he failed the class with a 32%.
13. How did jph1299 put up with this stuck up kid? Like, really though.
Some context: it’s a private catholic school but not the safest/ best around. I was suggesting to a student to stop wearing their watch because it might be stolen
“But this is just my everyday Rolex”
14. We can respect Exact_bro‘s logic here.
Student turned in his final paper and instead of responding to one of the prompts he wrote his paper on how much he hated the class and how terrible we were as teaching staff. I gave him a B because while he didn’t answer a prompt he backed his claims up with evidence which is well above average work compared to his classmates.
15. exhale_lent shut that shit down real quick.
Student: “I don’t deserve an F you fucking prick!” Professor: “I know, but it’s as low as I can give you.”
Source — Email between my dad (CC prof) and one of his more charming students.