Put This Alarm Clock In Your Vagina And Wake Up To An Orgasm

If you are anything like me (and let’s face it, you probably are) then you have a hard time getting up in the morning. Your alarm clock goes off and you hit the snooze button so hard that you make it cry. That’s right, your hatred for getting up is so great you’ve somehow managed to make an inanimate object cry.

You know what would make an alarm clock better? If instead of waking you up with a vile alarm, it woke you up with a red hot orgasm.

Good day sunshine, indeed!

Waking up on time is the worst and having an orgasm instead of grumpily turning off your alarm would be pure bliss. Well some deviant sex genius agrees, and as such has created an alarm clock that wakes you up with a knee-shaking orgasm. It’s called the Little Rooster, and while it may look like a high-tech spatula, it’s actually a brilliant sex toy, so hold onto your labia.

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The Little Rooster

This isn’t just a vibrator, it’s an alarm clock FOR YOUR PANTS.

The device has 27 ultra-quiet levels of intensity (plus three more monster-loud ones for your deep sleepers).

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Giphy

It seems like no matter what magical iPhone app I download to try and get my butt out of bed on time, I am forever scrambling, running around my house screaming “PANTS PANTS PANTS” much to the consternation of my household pets.

Deleting said apps and replacing them with this orgasm-giving miracle of science seems like a genius way to go. Plus the thing isn’t even that expensive. It’s under 100 bucks, and I’ll be real, I’ve paid more for sex with less of an orgasm guarantee.

I kid, I kid. Or do I? No but really I do.

Originally published by Rebecca Jane Stokes at YourTango

Related-ish: 9 Ways To Become A Morning Person Even If It Kills You

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