I am always and will always be an equal opportunist. I recently surveyed and ran an article about the strangest things that men have used as masturbation toys, and I was shocked at how many men decided to use various fruits and vegetables in order to get off. Having almost exclusively used my hand, I felt uncreative and lame after hearing their answers.
When I told a good lady friend of mine this, she felt the need to tell me that she once masturbated with an electric toothbrush over her panties but then couldn’t really feel her labia for a week. I was shocked, intrigued, and mildly horrified, so I decided to ask 15 other women I knew about the strangest things they’ve used to masturbate. I’ve obviously never believed that masturbating has solely been a boy’s game, but I never imagined how inventive some of these answers would be.
1. Kayla, 23.
“I’ve absolutely, 100% used a cucumber before before I had a dildo.”
2. Pauline, 26.
“I’ve done the electric toothbrush thing, it felt amazing until I tried it under the underwear, that is a no-go.”
3. Caroline, 24.
“I’ve used my showerhead before, that thing will never let you down or not tell you when it’s ‘boy’s night.'”
4. Michelle, 26.
“This is insane and I actually can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I’ve used a hairdryer while it was on the cold setting before. Something about all that air up there really worked for me haha.”
5. Jamie, 27.
“I’ve used a big carrot before but stopped before it was all the way in because I was terrified of it getting stuck.”
6. Lauren, 30.
“I’ve used a broom stick once when I was younger! In retrospect that was the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever done, but at the time it felt amazing.”
7. Michaela, 27.
“I’ve 100% shoved some crazy things up there in my day but what takes the cake is probably trying to get off with a slightly cold spoon. I was eating ice cream and was feeling it and I just sort of trying to put the cold, clean tip down there.”
8. Rachel, 21.
“Hmmm, probably the strangest thing I’ve ever tried to use was once I put a highlighter up there. It was finals week and I was extremely stressed so I just figured maybe it would help me focus if I had an orgasm. It didn’t.”
9. Nicole, 22.
“One of those electric massagers from a tech store. I’m almost sure it is used by women often as a vibrator but at the time I felt so dirty!”
10. Kelly, 29.
“I think the strangest thing I’ve ever tried to use is when I put a fresh banana, unpeeled up there. I was in the middle of making a smoothie and just wanted to see if it would work. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t!”
11. Hillary, 25.
“Oh god, please don’t publish my real name, but when I was a young girl my parents had me collect American Girl dolls, and I used one of their hands once to get myself off. I was probably 17? But it felt like the ultimate act of rebellion!”
12. Erica, 32.
“My boyfriend’s pillow. Sounds weird but I love how his pillow smells like him after he’s slept in my bed. So yeah, I use it to get off sometimes. I think it’s because that’s the first way I learned how to masturbate – humping my pillow – and that coupled with my boyfriend’s scent is seriously amazing. But don’t worry, I always wash it before he comes back over!”