When the world of emoji collided with the Age of Sexting, it was only natural that the entwinement would result in the sexualization of seemingly innocent (yet phallic) emoji. Nothing is safe — not the chili peppers, or champagne bottles, or even cacti.
That said, there are still certain emoji that rise up above the rest when it comes to conveying penises. There are champions, and there are duds.
The next time you feel compelled to discusses penises via text (so, like, every day, I’m assuming), please refer to this handy ranking of phallic emoji to determine the best and most effective method of saying “Break me off a piece o’ that”: