8 Sex Myths Men Believe Because of Porn

Ah, porn. Lots of men love it, and many women have mixed feelings on it. Whether you watch on your own or with your partner, it’s a totally natural, super-hot way to get ~in the mood~. But, at its worst, porn can be demeaning to women and teach both men and women damaging myths about sex.

But guys who grow up watching porn may end up seriously misguided and struggling to get off—and get you off—during an off-screen encounter. Here, 8 lies they need to know the truth about, stat.

1. Women don’t have pubic hair. Or any hair, for that matter.

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You know those hairless cats people pay thousands for because they are so rare? In porn, those pussies are ubiquitous. But it doesn’t stop there. The ladies have no armpit hair, no stray leg hair, no weird chin hairs, or anything. Everything has been plucked, shaved, and waxed to shining perfection. And sure, according to a study done by two doctors at the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Texas, only 8.6 percent of women have never groomed their pubic hair. But we are born with hair and if you are with a woman long enough, you will likely encounter some. Deal with it.

2. Women orgasm in, like, five seconds.

Newsflash: In order to reach the big O, most women require some revving up. But in porn, no matter what a dude is doing to her—be it making her go down on him or fingering her in a way that looks less than comfortable, let alone pleasurable—she’s off to the races in the five minutes. The truth is, it takes the average woman 15-40 minutes to climax. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Not to mention the fact that porn makes penetrative sex look like the be all and end all when the truth is, despite the “G-spot,” many women need clitoral stimulation to finish. Not only does this set up ridic expectations—it also ruins future sex for many women. Because a guy’s never going to learn how to work if he doesn’t realize he has to.

3. Boobs don’t move.

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You and I know that real breasts sway and bounce and when you lie on your back, they fall out to the side. It is very sexy and visually appealing, but thanks to overly produced porn, some men see so many pneumatic, silicone breasts that they don’t understand what real breasts are supposed to do.

4. Women are always wet and ready.

Getting lubricated and ready for penetration is not as simple as counting to three. But in porn? She’s always raring to go. This has left a generation of ladies unsatisfied and sore AF. This myth must be busted.

5. And men are always hard.

Sure, plenty of dudes are perpetually horny (as are plenty of women). But porn also perpetuates the myth that men don’t enjoy or even need any foreplay to get a raging boner, when in actuality, both sexes benefit from a warm-up.

6. Everyone’s really loud when they fuck.

Sure, some of us moan and breath heavily during sex. Some of us even scream and talk dirty. But, in porn, unilaterally, sex is always a loud, screaming, “oh, baby, right there!” affair. In real life, sex can be quiet and intimate or loving and sweet. It can be done in a bathroom while children play outside or late at night in bed when you are trying not to wake your roommates. It’s not always a bed-shaking, vocal chord-destroying screw sesh.

7. Hot tubs are totally for getting down.

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Anyone who watched the Bachelor (technically not even porn!) knows that hot tubs are for boinking.  Truth bomb: Having sex in a hot tub is not healthy for women. In fact, banging in that hot petri dish can lead to a host of medical issues, including urinary tract infections and yeast infections. Yet, in porn, the ladies are always like, “Why yes, please penetrate me in this filthy, hot water and introduce harmful bacteria into my most intimate areas!” Yeah, nope.

8. The mailman’s got more than just a package to deliver. (Heh.)

He is also the plumber, the electrician, the UPS guy, the appliance repair guy, the real estate agent, the hiring manager, and the list goes on. Basically, if you believe porn, a slew of highly professional situations—home repair, job interview, pool clean-up—come with the possibility of sex. Sorry, dudes. This is just an out and out falsehood. Sometimes I just want you to rewire my lighting fixture and call it a day. Kthxbai.

Related: 10 Guys Confess Their Super Secret Porn Watching Habits

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