There are certain individuals who understand that laying in bed all day is not merely an act of apathy or sloth — it is a full-on lifestyle choice, which demands our utmost reverence and respect.
Only the most dedicated among us can truly appreciate the art of Bed Life. Only those who have reached the most enlightened state of being can lay horizontal all day without even breaking a sweat over what might be happening in the outside world. Only a few of us are truly gifted enough to understand that time beneath the bed covers is the only time well-spent — and everything else is just faking it.
For those individuals, I dedicate these products to you. You are the brave and the bed-ridden, and these items are here to help you on your journey to Bedroom Nirvana:
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1. A dreamy mood lamp.
Deck your walls out in swirling moons and stars, and send yourself into a deep slumber … or just have an impromptu dance party. Your call.
2. An inline lamp dimmer.
Because lights at full percent is such a drag when you’re curled up in your bed cocoon.
3. An extra-cushy mattress topper.
I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to stay in bed all day if you don’t have a comfortable mattress topper.
4. These dreamy pillow case vistas.
You may not actually venture outside for days at a time, so it’s important to get some nature scenery in where you can.
5. A strand of magical twinkle lights.
Because ambient lighting is the key to all lazy, Netflix-and-chill endeavors.
6. A laptop stand for your bed.
Keeps your laptop from overheating — and keep it level in spite of your piles of blankets.
7. A bedside charging dock.
This way, all of your devices are constantly within reach, fully charged.
8. A rechargeable vibrator.
Because leaving your bed just to buy more batteries is total bullshit.
9. This snuggly sleep mask.
How else are you supposed to sleep through the day?
10. An awesome, scented candle.
This “Unicorn Puke” candle smells like delicious candy-floss, and makes your bedroom feel like a literal bakery.
11. Or, perhaps this 60-hour candle (if you REALLY don’t wanna get out of bed).
A 60-hour candle? That’s 60 more hours you can spend horizontal!
12. An essential oil-infused pillow.
So your bed can actually transform into your own private day spa.
13. This adjustable light sculpture tree.
This way, you can get as much or as little light as you want — and can even branch out the lamp so it becomes a reading light.
14. A truly princess-worthy canopy.
Because the bedroom is your domain, and that obviously makes you the Queen.
15. Smartphone-controlled light bulbs.
Control all of the lights in your bedroom with the touch of your smartphone — and even adjust the dimness and the color.
The future is amazing, especially if you want to find a way to do as little as humanly possible.
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