We’ve all been there, whether intoxicated or not, something mortifying just slips out of our mouths like a hiccup and we can’t take it back. Maybe without thinking, you asked a woman if she was pregnant and she was not…yikes…or perhaps when someone told you “Happy Birthday” you replied with “you too” and almost died of embarrassment.
Reddit asked its users about their most awkward “I should not have said that” moments and the responses will make you feel so much better about yourself.
1. Hot-Commodity didn’t realize he threw his boss under the bus.
My boss was mad because I could only work so many hours because of college. I told him college is important, I don’t want to be working at a gas station for the next 10 years.
My boss had been working at that same gas station for about 10 years.
2. Maybe mypubertyhurts should have thought that one through.
Just told my manager to “have fun” in response to him leaving early even though he told me he was going to a funeral.
3. When in doubt, todayonjeremykyle goes for the smiley emoticon.
I used to work for a small web agency in a tiny office. There was one loud account manager who just blathered on and said some outrageously stupid things (e.g. told a customer we couldn’t polish a turd, about work we’d done for them).
One day he’s droning on at volume 11 about some bullshit and it was echoing around the office whilst I was trying to work. I sent my friend a message on MSN saying “OH FFS WON’T YOU JUST SHUT UP YOU NOISY CUNT!”.
Obviously I’d sent it to the wrong person.
He looked over at me and mouthed “What the fuck!?”, I panicked and did the only thing I could think of and sent a smiley emoticon.
4. We are a little concerned about jacksonbrowne6789.
I was around 7 or 8 years old and I was watching a crime TV show with my mum and the topic of necrophelia came up. So being a curious kid I asked what it was and she told me it was someone who had sex with dead people. Witty me then decided to say “Oh. Better watch out for grandma then!” (She had died a year before) Thinking I’d get a few laughs. She just looked at me with the angriest face and said “never say something like that again”
5. Prisse112…umm…not sure what to tell you on that one.
Telling a wheelchair bound lady to “Keep rolling” after accepting her ticket to an exhibition.
6. iwantmynickffs sure loves the taste of vomit.
When I was a kid I went over to my friend’s place and we had dinner. I remember that the food was some tasty pasta dish with a slightly sour component, something that I hadn’t really experienced in savoury dishes before. So I was thinking really hard about where I had experienced a similar sourness with food in my mouth before and blurted out:
“It tastes like vomit”
To be honest I was too confused over why the mother replied that I should just not eat it if I didn’t like it to correct her. It was delicious after all.
7. ralevin unintentionally made fun of a little kid.
When I was a kid, my sister was an avid soccer player. Being unathletic myself, I was dragged to all of her games. At an indoor game (with walls that echo sound), a girl on the other team slide tackled a girl on my sister’s team. When she did, a wig fell off her head, revealing a completely bald noggin. I immediately blurted out, loudly enough for everyone – including the girl – to hear me, “Oh my god! They have a boy on their team!”
This was 20+ years ago and I still feel like a complete ass.
8. Welp, looks like djkeone might be single for a while.
I was at a concert with my girlfriend and bumped into a group of old friends i hadn’t seen in years. they all knew me when I was with my ex, who my current girlfriend was convinced I was still in love with.
when it came time to introduce her I said “I’d like you to meet _” and called her my ex’s name in front of this group. fruidian slip/brain fart/too high? awkward silence for a long moment, then says “no, actually my name is __, and I’m his new exgirlfriend as of now.” I’ve never been forgiven for the faux pas and still can’t figure out why I said that.
9. Pokabou is going to be getting some odd looks from his classmates.
Meant to say beating a dead horse, said beating off a dead horse.
10. Sorry, DukeofJuke movie references aren’t always a safe bet.
I walked into the break room at work, and heard one middle-aged coworker talking to another. I wasn’t particularly listening, but I heard her say “left side”. This activated a part of my brain devoted to remembering Remember the Titans, a movie I had seen most of once at least five years prior.
So, like any good person would, I half-to-three-quarters-shouted, “LEFT SIDE! STRONG SIDE!”
The coworker looked at me for a full two seconds, then said to her companion, quieter now, “Yeah. He’s doing a little better, but that whole side is still paralyzed.”
Her husband had had a stroke. It turned out to have nothing to do with Remember the Titans.
11. Wilge1966 called that one.
When my mom was marrying my stepdad, during their vows, at the part about ’til death do you part’, I said, in an attempt to be funny, “I give em ten years.” Their marriage lasted ten years.Still cringe about it to this day.
12. Well at least germiest’s patient had a sense of humor…I think.
I work at a hospital. I was helping an elderly man out of bed and a lot of the time where I work they need help getting their legs off the bed, due to weakness. so I’m about to get him up, and as he throws the covers off I say “do you need help getting your legs off the bed?” at the same time I say it I realize he only has one leg. immediate embarrassment until he grabs his one leg and says “sure, I’ll get this one and you get the other one.”
13. blewws would never really wish that, we hope.
“Your puppy is adorable!” “Thanks. He’s learning to be a service dog. He’ll be working with my son who has neurological damage.” “I wish I had neurological damage!”
14. Oh boy, BalllZakk might just want to never speak again.
Once as a kid I asked a girl in another class why she was walking around with her arm up her jumper. She just shrugged and walked away. Later found out it was because she only had one arm. Every so often as I’m lying in bed, the memory of asking her that pops into my head and I feel like suffocating myself with my own pillow.
15. There’s a special room in hell for punriffer5.
I’m hanging out with my friend’s friends in college and one of them is telling a story about how his sister lost her virginity in the 2000’s equivilent of netflix and chill to the Passion of the Christ.
I said the most obvious statement that was on everyone’s mind, “So she wasn’t the only one getting nailed that night” and pause for the incoming and immense respect for my wit, timing, and speed.
It was the only time in my life when people just stopped and shook their heads like it really wasn’t ok, i contemplated walking out in shame
16. prentle is lucky he didn’t get bitch slapped.
A long long time ago, my girlfriend at the time was sitting on my lap. She was wearing short shorts.
I, for some badly judged reason declared ‘Slap the thigh and ride the waves!’ and then slapped her thigh.
Bad, bad idea.
17. wiseprocrastinator got what was coming to him.
Someone said to me when I was younger that I’d grow up to be just like my mother. My instant response was ‘what, fat?’. My mother was there. Oops.
Ironically, I now am much fatter as well.