As a lady who cannot stand the taste of beer, I have found that casual drinking can be a somewhat awkward path to navigate. While I don’t like the stuff, I also don’t want to fall into one of the stereotypes that is so often attributed to girls who don’t drink beer, like “fussy” or “difficult.” Such labels can essentially turn you into “THAT girl,” and nobody wants to be “THAT girl.”
So, for years, I would just “suffer” (*eye roll*) in silence and nonchalantly nurse a beer before looking for the opportune moment to pour it down the bathroom sink (sorry for the blasphemy, beer lovers).
But, now that I’m more comfortable with not looking like the “Cool Girl” or “Chill Girl,” I’m proud to say that I cannot stand the taste of beer and I’m tired of pretending that I like it, dammit! And just because I don’t like the taste, that does NOT automatically confirm certain personality traits associated with uptight women.
Here are some common misconceptions about ladies who abstain from drinking beer, but will happily guzzle wine and liquor with the best of them:
Related-ish: Mastering The Art Of Day Drinking
1. They don’t drink.
Wait, what kind of logic is this? I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve attended a house party or barbecue where someone asked me if I “don’t drink,” because I wasn’t partaking in the ice chests full of beer. Which is A.) a surprisingly invasive question, and B.) a rather hasty conclusion to jump to, given the evidence. Perhaps I was just waiting for the opportune moment to go quietly and furtively open this bottle of wine I brought and have been hiding under my shirt this entire time, okay?!
2. They’re high-maintenance.
Professing to not like something is not high-maintenance — it’s called having a preference. If you were to say “You know, some people like anal sex, but it’s just not for me,” no one (in their right mind) would call you “high-maintenance” for holding such an opinion. Because why should you partake in something you don’t like?
3. They’re snobby.
Hi, I will gladly drink wine from a bag or can. I will always take the cheaper cocktail over the more expensive cocktail. I buy generic for God’s sake! I do not need my alcohol to be fancy — I just need it to not be skunky. Can’t we put this whole notion of wine-drinkers being “fussy” to rest? It’s like someone ordering a different kind of cheese on their hamburger and everyone around them going “OooOOOOoHH, look who’s bein’ all FANCY now!”
We’re all getting drunk together. Exactly how fancy could it possibly be?
4. They “just haven’t tried the right one.”
When I’m dating someone new, and I tell them that I don’t like or drink beer, the statement inevitably prompts them to say “Well, maybe you just don’t like IPAs,” or “Have you tried ____? I’ve always found it’s pretty easy to drink.” While I appreciate their enthusiasm and pseudo-concern for my beer-drinking experience, they always assume that I’ve come to this personal conclusion by NEVER TRYING BEER. Which makes next to no sense. Yes, I have tried more than one beer in my life, and yes, I have allowed myself to engage in multiple beer-drinking experiences to gauge whether or not this alcohol is for me.
Turns out, it just isn’t. Moving on!
5. They’re watching their weight.
Contrary to opinions held by popular culture, beer is not cookies. It just fucking isn’t, and it never will be. Don’t try to conflate me abstaining from something I think is gross with me “watching my figure.” I will happily drink margaritas ALL DAY (until I pass out), and those certainly have a higher caloric count than most (probably all) beers.
I’m not on a diet — I just prefer to get fat the old-fashioned way, by eating inordinate amounts of takeout.
6. They aren’t fun.
In case you were unaware, beer only has 4-7% alcohol content. Wine has roughly double that, at about 12-15%, and most liquors have 40-43%. So, if you’re drinking alcohol that isn’t beer, you’re getting drunk much more easily — and you aren’t having to purchase as many drinks to get there.
So, like, who’s really partying “correctly” in this situation?