Ah, autumn — a time for pumpkin flavored everything, apple picking, oversized sweaters and cool breezes. Summer is over, it’s no longer hot as fuck outside, and we’re ready to roll in some leaf piles. The lackadaisical types of us like to drink hot apple cider while watching Netflix, while the more proactive folks are up for hiking in the woods while admiring the fall foliage. Your astrological sign plays a significant role in how relate to this glorious orange-themed season. Grab your pumpkin muffin and have a seat. Here are some autumn activities according your zodiac sign.
Aries want to get the hell out of the house, get outside and feel that crisp fall air. They can finally stop complaining about hot it is, and get to enjoying an actual breeze. Their activity of choice is apple-picking. They are strategic about that shit too. They want to make sure they get apples of each variety before leaving the farm.
Taurus is fully prepared with a fall wardrobe. Taurus is wearing seasonally appropriate colors – orange, brown, forest green, and possibly yellow, if they are daring. The oversized fall sweaters have emerged from storage, and they are ready to make a grand entrance. Wearing a autumnal sweater is an activity in itself for Taurus.
Gemini has a book on hand for every season. They’re delving into autumn by reading a gothic novel like Wuthering Heights. There’s something about the cool breeze that warrants a little Bronte up in this piece.
Cancer wants to sample all the delicious pumpkin flavored treats. Whether it’s a pumpkin muffin, donut, pie, or flavored coffee, Cancer is ready to shove them in their mouth. In fact, Cancer might even be in the kitchen cooking up pumpkin infused baked goods. Look out!
Yes, Leo, we know it’s fall and you’re planning the most elaborate Halloween party. We also know that your costume is going to be ostentatious and provocative. Look at you! Moving on…
Can you stop planning, Virgo? No, that’s not possible. There you are freezing seasonally appropriate fruits for winter. Virgo even has a chart on their kitchen wall detailing which fruits are in season. We have to give it to you, you are always thinking about the future.
It’s your birthday, Libra! You’re prepared to celebrate by rolling in a big pile of fall leaves, as you should, no matter how fucking old you are. After you’re done with that, you’ll take many of those leaves home and create an artistic collage out of them.
Scorpio, you’ve discovered that they make pumpkin infused Vodka, and even though that sounds unappealing, you have to try it (in a flask) while you go out for a walk in the woods at night with your lover.
Sagittarius, you’re ready to hike in those woods that Scorpio has already had sex in last night. Only, unlike Scorpio, you want to get up at the ass crack of dawn to see the sunrise on the multi-colored leaves falling from the trees.
Capricorn can be found at the yarn store, buying hypo-allergenic yarn to knit a fall sweater with. The yarn in question is eco-friendly and 10 percent of the proceeds from the yarn go towards saving alpacas.
Aquarius, you are so weird. You can be found in the autumn months making jewelry out of natural objects that you found while you were hiking in the woods with Sagittarius. Your acorn earrings are fucking weird, but somehow awesome.
Pisces, where’s Pisces? Oh there they are! Pisces can be found daydreaming by a fireplace in a cabin in the woods while drinking hot apple cider with a cinnamon stick. Pisces doesn’t want to be disturbed during this time. Thank you for your cooperation. We should all be as lucky as Pisces.
Related-ish: What Your Sign Says About Your Dating Game