Kim Kardashian West promised the world nude selfies until she dies — and thus far, it looks like she’s delivering on that promise.
On Thursday night, Kim found herself bored in Miami (we’ve all been there, am I right, ladies?), so she did what any levelheaded Kardashian would do: she ordered up a midnight spray tan.
She then Snapchatted her freshly-tanned nude form as … evidence, I guess?
Nipples are tastefully (? I don’t even know what “tasteful” means anymore) covered, but very little is left to the imagination. Which is, honestly, how the world wants our Kim Kardashian nudes.
I also appreciate the reflection of the small bag, artfully obscuring the pubic region. Very sneaky, Kim!
Because Kim is a PR genius (go back and relive the entire Taylor Swift dethroning if you don’t believe me), she followed the still shots with a video of herself observing her naked reflection. “Nothing like a midnight spray tan, you guys,” she utters quietly in the clip, in the same reverent tone a nature guide would use when telling a bunch of tourists to stop and look at a herd of beautiful elk. “Tanorexic.”
(Side note: having never experienced a spray tan, I am very perplexed and intrigued by the two oval-shaped objects lying on the end of the table here. Are they magical sponges? Are they Easter eggs, filled with the teeth of Kim’s enemies? I have no idea, but I now really need to know.)
Thank goodness these selfies exist, honestly. If these moments somehow went un-captured, I’m afraid that we would forget why we collectively made Kim Kardashian a legend in the first place.
Meanwhile, in an entirely different Kardashian headquarters locale, Kylie Jenner was channeling her inner Kim by posting a similarly scantily-clad mirror selfie.
These nude-ish selfies went up within mere hours of one another.
What does it mean? What are the Kardashians trying to tell us? Can this code ever be cracked?
I’m not sure, but I know that as long as the Kardashian family is taking racy selfies, I am living in my correct (and best) reality.
In case you missed them, here are just a few of Kim’s ORIGINAL nude selfies, which started this whole crazy phenomenon:
And let’s not forget the one where she commissioned Emily Ratajkowski’s boobs to join in the fun:
We’re up to our eyeballs in Kim Kardashian nudes.
Yup — feels like a Friday.