For women, attempting to understand the men in our lives is an often fruitless endeavor, thanks to the opposite gender’s widely-confirmed distaste for vulnerability and “expressing themselves.”
Thankfully (?), there is never a shortage of men on the internet who are eager to correct women’s misconceptions about the opposite sex, with no shyness and no-holds-barred.
A group of dudes took to an AskReddit thread to tell women what they truly need to know about men (a question which encompassed sexuality, behavioral traits and personality). The results were honest, blunt — and perhaps a little bit hilarious.
Here are some things you need to know, if you choose to let a man into your life:
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1. Confidentiality is important.
“If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not ok for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.”
2. The “thrill of the chase” gets old.
“The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend ‘chasing’ you. If I’m interested, and you’re interested, there should be no reason for you to still be playing hard to get and taking longer than two requests for your time to agree to a date. Either commit or tell me you’re not interested.”
3. Trying to make guys jealous isn’t attractive.
“Mentioning how many guys are going for you/chasing you doesn’t create the narrative of ‘Oh damn, she’s a hot commodity, better try harder.’ Instead it’s ‘Fuck, chasing her seems like it would be a lot of drama, better skip this one.'”
4. Problem-solving is their form of empathy.
“If you bring us problems we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we have listened and that we care.”
5. Hard-ons are not a guarantee.
“Just because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.”
6. Sometimes he wants YOU to jump HIS bones.
“If you want to have sex don’t wait for men to initiate. If a man always has to initiate into sex he will feel like you don’t want it and just do it because you make him feel good but don’t actually feel any pleasure yourself.”
7. Guys appreciate feeling pretty, too.
“Guys like getting compliments about their appearance too, even just minor ones feel nice.”
8. They have zero time for hints.
“Some men actually know that you are trying to hint towards something but do not want to be embarrassed by misinterpreting the signal. So we ignore the hint instead because who has time for hints?”
9. Wanting to be alone isn’t a slight to you.
“Sometimes men just like to be alone, it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you we just like to be alone occasionally.”
10. Just take the damn compliment.
“If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is ‘Thank you.’ A self deprecating joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.”
11. If you say “I’m fine,” they won’t ask again.
“We can see through the ‘I’m fine’ bullshit. But if you say it 3 times, we’re going to let it go. It’s not because we aren’t aware it’s bullshit, and it’s not because we don’t care — it’s because we’re not interested in playing stupid games.”
12. They often stick their foot in their mouth.
“Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.”
13. They aren’t being honest about your clothing choices.
“Your butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin’ love it.”
14. When you ask them what they’re thinking about, the truth is usually underwhelming.
“Sometimes we really do think about nothing.”
15. They can’t read your mind.
“If you want me to do something, expect that I’ll do it my way. If you want something done your way, you fuckin’ do it. This is the price of delegation.”
16. Restaurant choices should NOT be this difficult.
“Just fucking pick where you want to eat. We don’t give a shit, we’re only going to order the fucking burger anyway.”
17. Platonic relationships are possible, and they exist.
“All men aren’t potential cheaters. Just because your SO likes spending time with another girl, doesn’t mean he wants her.”
18. Nothing compares to good head.
“Work on your blowjobs. He’s already good at handjobs and will be critical of you.”
19. Acting crazy isn’t charming.
“You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life.”
20. They like to feel babied sometimes.
“When we are sick, we really want attention.”
21. They don’t want to put you on a pedestal.
“No, I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.”
22. Balls really are sensitive, y’all.
“It takes very little impact force to cause tremendous pain in our testicles.”
23. Sometimes their hands get cold.
“Sometimes we just have our hands in our pants, it’s not always sexual, it’s warm down there.”
24. Just because they aren’t engaging with you doesn’t mean they aren’t hanging out with you (in their minds).
“Men spend quality time by doing things with you around…not necessarily doing things with you.”
25. Sometimes, it really is as simple as “He’s just not that into you.”
“If he’s not calling, not making an effort to see you, it means he doesn’t want to. Waiting around for him will only make you look desperate.”
26. They like being lazy with you.
“Just because we both have the day off doesn’t mean we have to fill it with shit to do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.”
27. Most importantly: cuddling should not be gendered, dammit.
“Sometimes we want to be the little spoon.”
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