Who knew that the kind of phone you buy could reveal a TON about your personality?
Science did. Somehow some scientists, somewhere, knew that your phone would reveal an entire buttload of personality intel. So get ready.
New research has revealed that Android owners are kinder, humbler, and more open than iPhone users.
Clearly this is hogwash because I’m a fucking VERY KIND PERSON AND AM SO HUMBLE I AM BASICALLY THE QUEEN OF HUMILITY, BEHOLD MY iPHONE AND TREMBLE.
(The joke there is that I have an iPhone, in case you missed it.)
Heather Shaw, from University of Lincoln’s School of Psychology asked two groups of participants, iPhone users and Android users, to fill out a questionnaire about the personality traits of the other phone users.
In their responses, Android users were kind and humble, and apparently iPhone users didn’t fill out the questionnaire so much as they just drew fart clouds and loudly insulted anyone who didn’t have an iPhone.
Researchers are curious about how our personalities impact not just the phones we choose, but also the apps we buy. Leave it to advertising hired researchers to try and analyze the latest bubble popping app purchase we made.
It’s true we’re more connected to our phones than ever before.
I know my phone is basically my world. If I see someone pick it up, I turn into a threatened mother grizzly bear. Trust me, it’s very alarming being taken away from a party in a police cruiser because you’ve disemboweled a party goer for confusing your cases. Hashtag awkward, amiright?
That said, for all my obsession with the baby cub that is my phone, I don’t think my choice of an iPhone was because I’m meaner and closed minded. I think I picked an iPhone because they look pretty, go fast, and I have a lot of experience with Apple products.
The study only reached out to 240 people, which is so not enough to make any real distinctions about personality.
There are some traits I’d believe different phones attract.
Like, people who are more into tech might prefer an Android, where trendy non-tech people might go iPhone. These traits at least make sense to me.
But maybe I just think that because I am a very closed-minded iPhone user. Lol.
I think it’s a dangerous game to assume that the technology we use is the key to who we are as people. Our phones, much as we like to pretend otherwise, aren’t extensions of our souls. They are tiny computers that help us do work and catch Pokemon. It needs to stop there.
Originally published by Rebecca Jane Stokes at YourTango.
Related-ish: 7 Ways Technology Is F**king With Your Productivity