This Week In Bullsh*t Trends: Crystal Lips

Some beauty trends fostered by the internet are easily replicable for normal humans, such as mermaid hair. However, there are other, more absurd trends which should only be endeavored by professional makeup artists — or people who aren’t afraid of ingesting large amounts of glitter.

Makeup artist Johannah Adams has created some absolutely unbelievable lip art, which gives the illusion of crystallized lipstick. The effect is extremely beautiful — but also highly impractical, if I’m being perfectly honest.


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Each crystal lip take Johannah roughly an hour to create. Which is incredibly admirable and impressive, in the world of makeup artistry. However, us mere mortals would be foolhardy to attempt such an endeavor in real-life.

If you feel like punishing your lips, though, feel free to give the crystal lipstick method a try. “I use a combination of a heavy glitter, a colour base, and a thick clear gloss. It’s a process of mixing and layering that develops the crystal look,” Johannah tells BuzzFeed.

This level of makeup artistry is admittedly hypnotic, and is practically witchcraft.

These pouts really do look like natural crystals.

And while I have to give credit for such a mesmerizing feat of cosmetics, part of me also has to groan and roll my eyes, wondering: “Is this a thing I’m going to start seeing at clubs on Saturday nights?”

I truly hope that the crystal lips will be relegated to my Instagram feed, but, given the past popularity of other Instagram beauty trends, I have my doubts.

Did we learn NOTHING from the glitter roots debacle of last year??

Or, even worse, the ill-advised pom-pom nails? (Good luck going to the bathroom with these monstrosities in your fingertips.)

In reality, the crystal lips have about a 30% chance of catching on — but it’s that 30% chance that had me concerned.

Just do me a favor: if you’re going to coat your lips in glitter, at least make sure it’s food grade glitter. And be sure to take photos of your sparkly poops.

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