While critics panned E.L. James for her writing in the Fifty Shades series, fans of the books obviously disagreed. The writing ranches from corny to romantic to thoroughly unbelievable. But at the end of the day, it’s all raunchy. And that, obviously, is all the readers cared about.
While we unfortunately have to wait until February to once again see Ana and Christian on-screen, we can put that fabulous raunchy writing—to good use… Here, amazing Fifty Shades Darker quotes, perfectly edited to fit 13 different sexting scenarios you may find yourself in.
1. When you don’t have the energy to put in much effort.
“I groan and run my fingernails across your back.”
2. The “I’m actually folding laundry right now but it’s fine” sext.
“Touch me…please…come on baby, I need this. Give it to me.”
3. When you need him to step up the creativity.
“You gently slide my panties down my thighs and off. I can’t see what you do with them.”
4. The “I feel the need to stroke your ego” sext.
“This feels different than the last time—so carnal, so…necessary.”
5. When you’re trying to subtly tell him he needs to step it up IRL.
“You sit up again and trail a spoonful of ice cream down the center of my body, across my stomach, and into my navel…”
6. Trying to set the scene like…
“I undo the button, but before I unzip you, I let my fingers wander, tracing your erection through the soft denim.”
7. Because sometimes you have to remind him that foreplay really is important.
“You kiss each of my breasts and suck each of my nipples hard.”
8. When you really just need him to get to climax.
“My hips start to move involuntarily… You’re hovering over me…and then, you’re inside of me, hard and fast…”
9. When you’re trying to make your writing teacher proud.
“You nuzzle my neck, biting down, as you flex your hips, deliciously slowly, filling me again and again.”
10. When you’re out of energy and creativity and you need him to take the lead.
“You flex your hips so your erection pushes against me …”
11. TFW you’re like, “Alright, now, I’m getting tired. Time to wrap it up.”
“Yes. Right there … You run your teeth along my chin, ease back, then slide into me again—so slow, so sweet, so tender—your body pressing down on me.”
12. When you’re feeling like not all your sexting needs to be graphic AF, right?
“I step towards you, slip my fearless fingers inside the waistband of your jeans, and tug so you’re forced to take a step closer to me.”
13. When you’re looking for a lil’ bit hotter than, “OK, well, goodnight!”
“I explode, my body a slave to yours, and wrap myself around you, clinging to you.”