If you’re a twenty-something who is navigating the early stages of your career, there’s a decent chance that you would consider yourself to be “financially lean,” or, as some circles might say “broke as f*ck.”
This penny-pinching lifestyle is nothing to be ashamed of, and is an inevitable and necessary stage of life. However, there are also certain embarrassing habits that come from living such a thrifty lifestyle … such as perhaps not using, um, actual toilet paper.
Here are some of the more relatable tendencies shared by all broke girls. Let’s laugh about them together before we all start crying, shall we?
1. Spraying your dirty clothes with Febreeze.
Taking your clothes to the laundromat is not only an annoying ritual, true cheapskates know that it can end up costing annoying money that you would much rather spend on other things (like, literally anything). Isn’t Febreeze meant to freshen up things that smell bad? Dirty laundry should definitely fall into that category.
2. Taking as many free snacks from your office as possible.
Hey, those bags of pita chips show up every week. What are you supposed to do — not use them for your groceries? If you can smuggle them out of your office with little to no embarrassment, then you have rightfully EARNED those packs of peanut butter crackers, dammit!
3. The same goes for free tampons.
Until the Pink tax is no longer a thing, you’re DAMN RIGHT you’re going to take those freebie tampons by the handful. It doesn’t even matter if they’re the ones with the crappy cardboard applicators — beggars can’t be choosers.
4. Pretending you’re “really interested” in the appetizer section.
When you’re out at a group dinner, particularly in a swanky restaurant, you’ll usually have a moment when you weigh the pros and cons of ordering the pasta dish or entree for $25. Instead, you opt for the less-insane idea of getting the $10 appetizer and then satisfying your hunger with some microwave popcorn at home later.
5. Figuring out all of the Happy Hour specials in your particular postal district.
Like any true frugal (okay, broke) lady, you’re looking to have a fun time without having to spend an inordinate amount of money that you don’t have. In order to do that, you’re probably going to have to frequent plenty of Happy Hours — or, better yet, find a handsome stranger to buy you a drink at said Happy Hour.
6. Using paper towels when you run out of toilet paper.
Look, it’s not pretty or glamorous, but we’ve all done it when we’re in a pinch, and anyone who says otherwise is a damn dirty liar. You have split a paper towel in half and used it to wipe your ass. And you know what? It’s terrible for your plumbing, but it does save money.
7. Pretending you’re sick so you don’t have to go out.
Hm. Going out, and spending at least $20 on drinks and food, or … staying in and renting a movie on iTunes for $2.99 and eating some leftovers? Decisions, decisions …
8. Crashing gallery openings for the free champagne.
Art is a fantastic reason to go out, don’t get me wrong. But it’s the freebies that really motivate you to indulge your artistic tastes. How else are you supposed to feel like a fancy adult without actually spending your scant money?
9. Making an attempt to sell your useless shit on Etsy.
Everyone in a financial valley has thought to themselves “You know, I bet a could make some killer paintings. That shit sells, right?” This idea never actually works out, but we’ve all definitely thought about making it happen.
10. You’ve said “I’ll just have water” more times than you can count.
Sodas in this restaurant are three dollars, and there’s no refills?! Um, you’re DAMN RIGHT I’m having tap water. And don’t even try to bring any of that bottled or sparkling nonsense.
11. Made an attempt to cut your own hair.
We’ve all been there: your hair is growing out, and your wallet can hardly survive a trip to the salon. You grab a pair of scissors, blithely assuming everything will be okay — and you end up with bangs that are well above your eyebrows.
In some cases, spending the money may be well worth your while.