Being on your period is never a “fun” state of affairs. Using tampons is an annoying chore unto itself, and the hormonal mood swings are certainly no picnic.
However, we tend to always look on the gloomy side when it comes to menstruating. In reality, there are actually numerous beneficial, and — dare I say it? — good things that come from that time of the month.
Stop dissing your uterus and learn to appreciate some of the benefits of being on your period:
1. You’re not pregnant!
Look, we simply cannot overlook this very joyous fact. Yes, some people would really like to indulge their inner Charlotte and have babies, but for many of us, the prospect would come as an unwelcome surprise (although the word “surprise” evokes much more positive connotations). So, even though you’re riding the crimson wave, you can take comfort in the fact that, at the very least, you still get to drink wine and numb your discomfort.
2. It means you get to give in to your lazy side.
Laziness honestly gets a bad rap. I can confidently say that I have never made any bad decisions when I was lounging on the couch in my pajamas (who are we kidding, it was just an oversized T-shirt) watching TV. Nonetheless, we have very few opportunities in life for guilt-free relaxation. Menstruating may be its own personal hell, but at least it’s a hell which encourages you to wear bunny slippers.
3. Calories don’t even count right now.
You’re already bloating, so as far as I’m concerned, your weight is in a state of flux during menstruation (this is HIGHLY UNSCIENTIFIC, just my personal belief system). You feel rotten, and you’re wearing sweatpants anyway, so why not proudly eat ice cream? This is not the time to be “good” or “practical.” This is the time to relieve your physical pain with the help of “cheat day” favorites (ugh, someone give me a wedgie for using the term “cheat day”).
4. You get to feel like a mystical Earth goddess.
If you were one of those teenagers who read The Red Tent one too many times, like I did, then you are well-aware that the process of menstruation is a tale as old as time, surrounded by a myriad of traditions (thankfully, the sitting-on-a-pile-of-hay tradition is no longer a thing). Having your period puts you in sync with the moon! And the tides! And all that cool, witchy shit!
I have tried explaining this numerous times to my boyfriend, but he still holds the stubborn belief that periods are “icky.” So I put a hex on him.
5. You at least have a semi-plausible excuse for any cranky remarks.
Look, I’m not saying that you’re allowed to freely insult people just because it’s that time of the month (although I’m not not saying that, either).
That said, if you happen to be a tad more irksome or grumpy, it’s comforting to know that if you accidentally bicker with someone or get in an argument with your boyfriend, you have a ready-made excuse.
6. Well hello there, sex drive.
The influx of hormones during menstruation often makes women hyperaware of their nether-regions, in every sense. Put indelicately, you’re likely to feel especially horny on your period. Which, if your partner is willing, can make for some very excellent bedroom play. Just make sure you take the necessary precautions so you sheets don’t suffer on account of your libido.
7. Getting your period actually “improves” your appearance.
I’m not sure if I buy this, but according to Rebecca Booth, MD, author of The Venus Week: Discover the Powerful Secret of your Cycle… at Any Age, “The hormonal recipe that kicks in on or about day three or four triggers a significant improvement in how women feel and look.”
So, even thought you may feel disgusting, you actually look radiant! (Probably?)
8. Your body is recalibrating.
Not to get all nerdy on you, but menstruating is an extremely healthy part of your body’s cycle. Menstruation is not only cleansing, wiping away any unwanted bacteria, it’s also a status report on your body’s hormones. If you’re menstruating at regular intervals, it’s a sign that your body and reproductive system are functioning properly (as long as you aren’t pregnant or menopausal).
So the next time Aunt Flo comes to town, why not try welcoming her with open arms, and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s?