Here’s What The Sinners Are Buying On Amazon This Week

We know you’ve been secretly awaiting the return of the Sinners Of Amazon post and we apologize for its very brief hiatus. Never fear though, the best sellers list is back and more deviant than ever.

Set your browser on incognito and get your credit cards ready because we guarantee there will be at least one item you’re tempted to try out, for a friend of course *wink wink*.

See Also: 8 Habits Of Guys Who Are Shitty In Bed

1. IMO Full Silicone Vibrating Cock Ring


If you’re looking for a way to spice things up a bit in the bedroom, this vibrating and waterproof pink cock ring might be just what you need. Amazon reviewers gave the product an impressive 4.8  saying they were left “both left shaky and blissful.”

Get it HERE

2. 7 Inch Realistic Silicone Dildo with Suction Base


This “realistic” supposedly flesh toned dildo may be hard to look at, but apparently it really gets the job done. Reviewers give it a solid 4.3 stars and raved about the convenience of the suction cup bottom. We see you, freaky people.

Get it HERE

3. Fetish Fantasy Whip Flogger with Silicone Tassels


If the latest 50 Shades trailer has left you feeling adventurous, this fantasy whip is a good way to heat things up. Apparently, it’s one of the best ones Amazon has to offer. Very satisfied customers are saying the sting from the paddle gives “a pleasurable tingly warmth, which both arouses and sensitizes the nerve endings.”

Get it HERE

4. Silicone Penis Ice Tray


Just in case you feel like making some penis-shaped ice cubes, you can snag one of these off of Amazon’s best selling novelties section. Maybe try them out on a friend and see if they notice the little dongs swimming around their drink.

Get it HERE

5. Penis Nose Joke Glasses


This right here might just be our favorite product of the week. I mean, who wouldn’t want to walk around wearing Dicky Nose Glasses? Tbh, they totally remind me of Squidward and it makes me very uncomfortable.

Get it HERE

6. Realistic Vibrating Dildo from Blue Lolly


Can we take a moment to talk about the fact that not only is this dildo blue, but its base is complete with a ring of rhinestones? What in the actual? I guess if you’re going to have some alone time you might as well do it in style. Customers are raving that this toy really does the trick so I guess it might be worth a try if you can get past the rhinestones.

Get it HERE

7. Utimi 7 Inch Glass Anal Beads


Yes, 7 INCHES. These glass anal beads, though quite terrifying to think about, are said to be some of the best Amazon has to offer. Reviewers give the product a full 5 stars and according to the product description, the beads can be heated or cooled for added pleasure.

Get it HERE

8. Mr-S-Leather Deluxe Rimming Seat


Dear god this is literally a toilet seat on bungie cords. We don’t judge, but what in the actual? This is really a thing and apparently, “no dungeon or play space can be complete without one.” I guess if you’re they type to have a dungeon, then this isn’t too shocking.

Get it HERE

9. SM Bondage Restrain with Pillow


As ridiculously unrealistic as this product photo is, the toy itself actually looks like it could be fun to try out. Reviewers give it a 4.8 out of 5 stars saying it’s great for beginners and a perfect way to spice up your sex life.

Get it HERE

10. Captive Heart Padlock Nipple Clamps


Tbh, I’ve never been one for nipple clamps due to my very rational fear that they will either get stuck on or rip my nipples off. However, these heart clamps are kind of cute and all the rage on Amazon this week.

Get it HERE

11. Lifelike Sex Doll


There’s always one item on this list that deeply disturbs me and this is the one. I’m sorry, but I just can NOT with these sex dolls. They scare the living shit out of me. People are basically getting it on with giant barbies, why just why?

Get it HERE

See Also: 11 People Confess Their Darkest & Weirdest Sexual Fetishes

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