Ever wondered what would have happened if you stuck it out with your childhood sweetheart for the long-haul? Well, some of us have done exactly that.
The whole world tells you it’s the last thing you should do, especially if you up and get hitched just as soon as you can. But while the median age for marriage has been steadily rising (it’s now 29.8 for women and 30.6 for men in D.C.—the spot where single folks are holding out the longest), no one has really bothered to track who it is we’re marrying or why.
If you’ve been hanging on to the guy who took you to prom, here’s a lifeline. Here, 8 things you only understand if your bae dates back to before the word “bae” even existed.
1. The blackmail potential is real.
You were both there for the most mortifying moments of each other’s childhoods and/or adolescence, and you’ll never let each other live them down. Remember when you farted in the middle of the presidential challenge in gym class? He does too. But you remember when he ripped a hole in the seat of his pants in chemistry, and everyone saw his tighty whiteys.
2. Topanga and Cory are #goals.
They were the greatest relationship of the ’90s and of 2016! And you’re all…I believe this can happen on TV! It’s so amazing! So, why do childhood sweethearts get so much shit in real life? Cough—STFU—cough.
3. His parents have outdated, uncomfortable nicknames for you.
When you met your partner, your parents were calling you Monkey, and his called him Champ. Those nicknames have stuck. And they are still being used. In front of other people.
4. If you hear one more effing stat about young love and divorce rates …
You might actually spontaneously combust.
5. You’ve got inside jokes for days.
Your friends are really getting tired of the old movie quotes that only you two get. And “remember the time” followed by “OMG, yessss!” is not a conversation, you guys.
6. You can both count the number of people you’ve had sex with on one hand.
And you don’t have to Facebook stalk his exes to figure out if they’re as hot as you, because you played soccer and softball together. (Oh, and of course they’re not!)
7. You don’t fight over whose family gets which holiday.
There’s no “we’ll go to his parents at Thanksgiving, mine in December.”His family and your family live in the same town. So, you just pack the car and go.
8. People are always telling you how “cute” it is that you’re still together.
And you smile and you nod, and inside you’re raging because grown-ass women don’t want to be called cute, OK!?
See Also: 8 Rules For Dating A Country Girl