It seems like not a week goes by without somebody pulling some lame or tasteless shenanigans that make us say, in unison, “Wait, what?”
Because if there’s one thing you can count on public figures for, it’s an endless stream of social gaffes, questionable choices, and tweets they definitely regretted in the morning.
Here are just a few folks who made this week’s list of unfortunate life choices. Let’s collectively learn from their unfortunate errors, shall we?
1. Rick Perry and his “dance moves.”
For once, I am not judging Rick Perry because of any political nonsense spewing from his mouth. This time, I am judging him because of his terrible dancing skills. On this week’s Dancing With The Stars, Perry performed a Paso Doble with his dancing partner, Emma Slater, while dressed in full bullfighting garb (I swear this is real, and not a fever dream I had). While this information alone is enough to make me cringe, it was the actual “dancing” that had me baffled.
It was just … not good, y’all.
Words will not do this performance justice, so I’m just going to suggest that you watch it yourself. (Perhaps you can explain Rick’s “dancing face” to me, because I’m convinced it is just a droopy clown frown.)
2. The guy who told women to pretend to be men if they want a job.
Entrepreneur John Greathouse penned an ill-advised piece in the Wall Street Journal this week which urged women in tech to hide their gender on social media — because doing so will increase the likelihood of getting hired. “Women in today’s tech world should create an online presence that obscures their gender,” Greathouse wrote. “A gender-neutral persona allows women to access opportunities that might otherwise be closed to them.” Bear in mind that Greathouse (LOL, that name) is referring to people’s personal accounts, not their cover letters or application materials. I mean, it’s honestly very nice of him, to explain such intricacies of the hiring process to dumb ladies who have the audacity to use their real names on their social media accounts …
… Oh wait. No, it isn’t. It’s mansplain-y as f*ck. But hey, at least he learned a lesson:
3. Rob Kardashian (and also Kylie Jenner.)
On Monday evening, Rob Kardashian (brother to Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, and whoever else is in that family), made the somewhat-tacky-but-kind-of-hilarious choice of tweeting out Kylie Jenner’s number to his Twitter followers twice.
Rob’s motivation behind the categorical “Dick Move” was spurred by the fact that Jenner apparently did not invite Rob’s fiancé, Blac Chyna, to her own baby shower. (For the record, the number is now disconnected.)
Honestly, in this situation, it’s hard to decide who’s more of an asshole: Rob, for forcing Kylie to get a new number, or Kylie, for weirdly holding a baby shower for someone and then not telling them about it. What was the point of doing that, Kylie? Were you going to steal all of the baby gifts for yourself?? I DON’T KNOW, I’M JUST SAYING, IT’S KIND OF SUSPECT.
I’m siding with Rob on this one, mainly because Blac Chyna tweeted out his phone number yesterday (HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING) in order to ensure that he was not texting “bitches.” It feels like he’s suffered enough.
4. World’s biggest douchebag Martin Shkreli.
Martin Shkreli, the notorious “Pharma-Bro” who is on pretty much everyone’s shit list, is offering the opportunity to slap or punch him (or go on a date with him, whatever you prefer) if you donate to his friend and PR Consultant Mike Kulich’s memorial fund.
Kulich died on Saturday, and his five-year-old son, Tyler, has been battling leukemia since he was two. A Give Forward page has been created to support Tyler and his family in this loss, and Shkreli is choosing to advertise the charitable page by … giving people the opportunity to punch him, I guess? On Tuesday, Shkreli tweeted out “If you donate to this site, you are entered into a raffle to slap/punch me. The # of dollars you donate is the # of tickets you get,” and “Winner gets slap/punch/dinner or whatever they want. Runner up gets something, too. Raising money for my dead friend’s son.”
It’s unclear whether the offer is actually real, but either way, it seems like a pretty bizarre and f*cked up way to insert oneself into someone else’s tragedy. I guess Shkreli figured that his named had been out of the public eye for far too long, and saw this as an opportunity to divert some of the attention toward himself.
5. Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris.
Guys, I know you might be concerned about the possible demise of our country or whatever, but every needs to shutup and listen:
Taylor Swift is texting Calvin Harris again, following her breakup with Tom Hiddleston.
… Oh, what’s that? Did you hear that? That was the sound of all the f*cks I don’t give whooshing by!
Look, we all knew the Hiddleswift merger was probably some sort of weird fame hoax, so its demise isn’t exactly surprising. However, Taylor dumping Calvin Harris in a pretty cold fashion, rebounding with Hiddleston, then coming back like “Hey, sorry, I was just joking about cutting you out of my life!” is making me do the Eye-Roll Heard ‘Round The World.
Related-ish: 5 People Who Made Us Say ‘Aw HELL Naw!’ This Week