Here’s What Sinners Are Buying On Amazon This Week

It’s that time of the week again (your favorite time) when we comb through the deepest darkest corners of Amazon’s best sellers list to bring you their most deviant products. Of course, we don’t judge. We all have a freaky side to us, some more so than others.

That being said, we never fail to be somewhat shocked by the more adventurous items people are shopping for and this week is no exception. So, find a private place, set your browser to incognito and peruse what the sinners are buying on Amazon.

1. Fetish SM Leather Paddle with Purple Ribbon

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This week’s list kicks off with a 50 Shades-esque leather paddle complete with purple ribbon. According to its product description, “the paddle is solid and durable to help you dominate your beloved partner.” Amazon shoppers give it a solid 5 stars.

Get it HERE

2. Wild Fox Tail Anal Plug Butt for Women

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To each their own and all that, but this fox tail butt plug is a little much for me. I mean, a fox tail…really? Apparently, it does the trick though. Amazon shoppers give this toy 5 stars and the reviews are very detailed to say the least.

Get it HERE

3. Gum Job Oral Sex Teeth Covers

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Though these look pretty ridiculous, I can appreciate the thought behind them. It’s like a mouth guard for blow jobs, right? According to the product description, they’re mutually enjoyable, “You will be sure to bring your partner to their maximum O when you wrap your lips around him in these sexy candy oral treats!”

Get it HERE

4. Pocket Stroker for Men

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Dear god, why are fleshlights so terrifying looking? This one disturbs me on a whole new level and I just can’t get past the oddly shaped nostrils. Like WTF? Regardless of my lack of affinity towards this product, several shoppers appear to be enjoying it.

Get it HERE

5. Pecker Slippers

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These might just be our favorite item on the list this week. Honestly, who wouldn’t rock a pair of dick slippers? Secret Santa is going to be full of surprises this year.

Get it HERE

6. Butterfly Cockring Set for Men

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This seriously looks like one of those stamp rings we had as kids. However, shoppers gave the product a 5 star rating and one reviewer said the ring worked wonders in the bedroom. “It did keep him in check and gave me a little extra boost so we could have our big O’s together.”

Get it HERE

7. Eden Snake of Paradise Disc Dildo

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Can we just take a minute to appreciate the name of this product? Eden of Paradise Dildo…what in the actual? Apparently, people are really getting off to the thought of a snake slithering up inside them.

Get it HERE

8. Pleasure Pointer

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Not gonna lie, this one made me laugh out loud. Those fingers are ridiculous looking to say the least and the proportions are a little bit terrifying. According to the product description, the vibrations really take you to the next level though. “Now you can have the sensation of being fingered, coupled with thrilling vibration, for the ultimate in enhanced pleasure.”

Get it HERE

9. Socks With Attitude Suck My Toes

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These are socks are too hilarious. They will make for perfect stocking stuffers for my coworkers this year. Luckily, HR has a good sense of humor.

Get it HERE

10. Soft Plush Boob Pillow

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Because, who doesn’t love a nice pair of boobs am I right? Now you can lay on them whenever you want without being creepy about it. Someone please buy me this.

Get it HERE

11.  Sex Stand and Swing in Purple Combo

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For all of you adventurous sex monsters out there, this couples sex swing is the perfect addition to your playroom. Not only is it the top rated sex swing on Amazon, but it even comes in a pretty purple color for all of you girly girls.

Get it HERE

12. 12-Speed Remote Controlled Mini vibration Enchanted Egg

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This might be the prettiest vibrator I’ve ever seen, though “enchanted egg” may be a bit over the top. According to its description, this toy is perfect “for couples who dare to share pleasure, even from a distance.”

Get it HERE

13. Long Realistic Woman Legs

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Last, but certainly not least are these disturbing AF pair of legs. Yes, just legs. I can’t even deal with this. What pleasure can you possibly get from half of a body? Not to mention, those feet just look all sorts of jacked up. A whole bunch of NOPE happening here folks.

Get it HERE

See Also: 17 Couples Share Why They Love Make-Up Sex

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