Having platonic male friends is both a blessing and a curse. While they add an invaluable “Guy Perspective” to your life, your friendship with them can also lead to some occasional social awkwardness — because even if the relationship is totally devoid of romantic feelings, popular media would like everyone to believe the notion that men and women can never really be “just friends.”
Here are just a few “struggles” that women with guy friends have to deal with on a regular basis.
Having to tell the waiter that, no, you’re actually paying separately.
Yes, I know it’s shocking for two people of the opposite sex to eat a meal together without any romantic undertones, but such a feat is totally possible! Are the two of us just not supposed to dine out in public, so as to avoid any possible date confusion? Cool, we’ll just go to a drive-thru next time.
Reassuring your significant other that you really are “just friends.”
This is a tricky path to navigate, as anyone who has watched When Harry Met Sally too many times can verify. Ideally, your partner is trusting enough to not indulge any full-on possessive episodes — however, it’s natural for there to be a little bit of tension surrounding this topic. After all, the knowledge that you’re confiding your feelings in another guy is inevitably going cause a tiny pang of jealousy.
However, the best way to circumvent this situation is to all hang out together a few times. Your significant other will get to know and trust your guy friend, and your guy friend will have a chance to bro out with the other important man in your life.
Having to shut down any vaguely-romantic situations.
You definitely don’t think of them that way — but, even in platonic relationships, you occasionally have to nip any potentially-romantic situations in the bud. For example, if you find yourself watching Netflix together on your bed, you’ll often be like, “Hey, this is a weird angle, let’s move to the couch.” It’s not that you actually anticipate anything sexy happening between the two of you, but you’d rather not bring any traces of that element into your relationship.
Getting their approval on guys you’re dating.
As one of your most valued guy friends, their opinion on your suitors is exceedingly important to you. After all, how else are you supposed to get a (somewhat) unbiased male perspective on your love life? The only downside is that they are sometimes a little too honest when it comes to their opinion on your boyfriends — but it’s all good, because you learned long ago when to take their advice and when to tune them out.
Explaining to people at a wedding that they’re just attending as your “friend-date.”
No one is more eager to classify your relationship than a group of strangers — particularly when a wedding is involved. People just can’t seem to understand that you’d rather bring along your platonic plus-one for dancing and boozing than going solo and potentially ending up in an awkward situation with a groomsman. You simply tell curious guests that no, that guy isn’t your boyfriend, and just leave it at that. It’s honestly nobody’s business.
Disagreeing on how to solve each other’s relationship problems.
Since you’re both coming from distinctly different sides of the playing field, you’ve definitely had contentious arguments once or twice about the proper way to dump a casual girlfriend or boyfriend. While they might think that ghosting is perfectly acceptable, or simply write off a girl as being “crazy,” you’re quick to defend the opposite side of the situation. After all, as their friend, it’s your job to talk some sense into them.
Being grossed out by the details of their sex life.
You tend to view them as more of the “brotherly” type — so hearing about their favorite sex positions or their most embarrassing bedroom stories is definitely cringe-inducing. Not to mention the fact that they’re a guy, so they have a tendency to go into somewhat unnecessary graphic detail.
Dealing with the question, “Did y’all used to date?”
People can’t seem to grasp that men and women can be friends without wanting to bone one another. Don’t get me wrong — it’s definitely a rarity. But when it happens, everyone just assumes that you’re both exes who are still carrying a flame for one another.
Sorry, people of the world. Not every relationship is a romantic comedy waiting to happen.
Related-ish: How To Keep Friends When You’re An Introvert