Coming up with a group Halloween costume can be a sweet holiday victory for your crew — but it can also turn you against one another in a vicious battle of wills. Not only is everyone always in love with their own ideas (and therefore not receptive to any others), everyone is also operating on entirely different levels of Giving A F*ck.
If you choose to go with an ensemble Halloween costume, just be forewarned about some of the road blocks you might encounter along the way:
1. Trying to explain how dope your idea is to all of your friends.
Pitching ideas to a group of your peers can be extremely stressful, no matter how “supportive” they purport to be. Plus, if they don’t understand that your Mad Men group costume would be an incredible Halloween idea, then to hell with all of them!
2.Convincing everyone that being creative is more important than looking cool.
Must we all have our cleavage on display? I know everyone wants to look their best, but Halloween is about transforming yourself — not just wearing a corset and pushup bra. Yes, it would be nice to get laid, but wouldn’t it also be nice to get some compliments on our collective creativity?
3. Flipping out when nobody can decide on a costume.
These fools are CLEARLY not worth your time, and are not channeling the true spirit of Halloween. How are you all supposed to accomplish anything if everyone is going to be so damn indecisive?
4. Being offended when someone in the group chat actually suggests NOT doing a group costume.
Okay, okay — I know everyone was allowing their anger to get the best of them, but let’s not start spouting ideas that we can’t take back. Our ENTIRE FRIENDSHIP is now dependent on pulling off this group costume idea, and I, for one, am not about to let this holiday tear us apart, dammit!
5. Trying to mediate the tension in the group and form a compromise.
Okay guys. Let’s just step back and realize that we’re all friends, and that the successfulness of Halloween will not hinge on the specificity of our group costume. Also, everyone should probably stop texting in all caps. Thank you.
6. When that one person is still salty that their idea wasn’t chosen.
Look, BRENDA, we all contributed ideas, and only one was chosen. So please just calm down and stop assuming that we all hate you because we didn’t want to go with your group costume suggestion … although, yes, to be perfectly honest, your idea sucked.
7. Realizing that your costumes are more elaborate than you thought.
REALLY GLAD that we went this Downton Abbey theme, guys! It’s not like this costume cost half my paycheck or crushes my lungs, or anything! This was definitely worth the intense discussions and invested time!
8. Hoping that your brilliant group costume somehow gets you laid.
Yes, the costume theme is a group effort — but if you’re ALL the darlings of the Halloween party, shouldn’t that significantly increase your chances of wooing over some dude who’s dressed like a pirate? (Although, if he’s dressed as a pirate, you could probably do better.)
9. Pretending to be humble when you receive your first costume compliment.
Oh, it was nothing, really. Just a horde of group text messages and fights which somehow magically resulted in a perfectly-coordinated group ensemble. It was SO last-minute, we hardly thought about it!
10. Dealing with the inevitable hangover that follows a night of group debauchery.
The morning after always marks the moment when you swear you will never again get sucked into doing a group costume: it’s too much work, too much coordination, and everyone always ends up encouraging each other to get twice as drunk.
But we both know that next year, you’re going to end up doing the same thing all over again. Because, hey — why go solo on Halloween when you can roll with your squad?