Here’s What The Sinners Are Buying On Amazon This Week

Another week, another round up of hilariously heinous Amazon purchases. We know you’ve been waiting for what seems like forever to find out what the kinkiest shoppers are recommending, but fear not the list is finally here.

Believe it or not, this might be our most freaky, most adventurous Sinners of Amazon post yet. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

1. Aphrodite’s USB Charging Vibrator

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We’re starting this week’s list off with some purple vibrators complete with little squinty faces. Honestly, not sure how I feel about faces on a vibrator, also why are they squinting? Amazon shoppers are all about these little guys though, giving them 5 stars. “This is amazing and so quiet. The feel is very soft and the different vibrations were beyond anything else I have tried.”

Get it HERE

2. Utimi Rugby Male Masturbation Cup

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Yet another disturbing AF male masturbator earned its place on our list this week. This one is actually double sided for double the pleasure. According to the product description, it’s the “perfect combination of oral and vaginal sex.”

Get it HERE

3. Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Dildo

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In the spirit of Halloween and all things terrifying, Amazon brings you the one and only Frankenstein Dildo. Yes, it’s a thing and people are really ordering it.

Get it HERE

4. Penis Gift Bag

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Check your Facebook calendar for the next birthday because this gift bag is too ridiculous not to use. In fact, get the bag and put the Frankenstein Dildo inside of it, penis-ception.

Get it HERE

5. Spartacus Crave Leather Collar with Broad Tip Nipple Clamps

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First of all, can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that this product begins with “Spartacus?” I mean…talk about role play. That being said, I’m not sure how I feel about collars let alone one with nipple clamps attached to it. Maybe not. One rather experienced shopper gave it this glowing review: “Overall nice play for the curious first time user or for that little sub that is misbehaving … highly recommend it , also has a D ring so you can attach a leash to it to lead your pet around.”

Get it HERE

6. Fifty Shades of Grey Bondage Tape

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Of course, there’s a Fifty Shades themed bondage tape pack because why wouldn’t there be? If your bf feels like channeling his inner Christian Grey, this might be the perfect gift for Halloween.

Get it HERE

7. Male Electro Chastity Cage

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This product, ladies and gents, is not for the faint of heart. Not only, does your partner have to be down with the whole medieval chastity belt thing, but he also has to be in to getting his schlong shocked with electric volts. Hmmmm, good luck with that.

Get it HERE

8. Pup Puppy Play Hood and Breathable Ball Gag

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Dear god, it doesn’t get more nightmare-inducing than this. We’re all for being adventurous and we don’t judge anyone for their tastes, but this animalistic mask is just plain terrifying. It’s going to be a hell no from me.

Get it HERE

9. Grow Your Own Willie

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Because why wouldn’t you want to grow your own? It’s like those dinosaurs we used to have as kids that you throw in water and watch expand, except it’s a penis. He’s a grower not a shower ladies, have a little patience.

Get it HERE

10. Gas Works Gummy Boobs

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While you’re growing your very own weeny, you can munch on a few gummy boobs. Though they don’t really look like any real pair of chesties, they might taste good!

Get it HERE

11. Lavender Blush Vibrator

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This vibrator made its way on to our list due to its uncomfortable similarity to the top of a baby bottle. Like, who thought that was going to be arousing to look at? Nope. However, Amazon shoppers are giving this toy a solid 5 stars saying it’s the best they’ve ever bought.

Get it HERE

12. Pocket P*ssy Masturbator

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Every week there’s one product that really sends us over the edge and this week it’s a male masturbator complete with fingers. Yes, fingers. Words really can’t do this item justice so we’ll just let you drink it in.

Get it HERE

13. California Exotics Big Joe Doll

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Last, but certainly not least this Big Joe sex doll is a hot buy on Amazon this week. Not only does he “want you hot and nasty”, but he also comes complete with a “7 inch removable cock.” Sounds like a party…

Get it HERE

See Also: 24 Phone Wallpapers For Girls Who Love To Curse

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