5 People We’re Definitely Judging This Week

It seems like not a week goes by without somebody pulling some lame or tasteless shenanigans that make us say, in unison, “Wait, what?

Because if there’s one thing you can count on public figures for, it’s an endless stream of social gaffes, questionable choices, and tweets they definitely regretted in the morning.

Here are just a few folks who made this week’s list of unfortunate life choices. Let’s collectively learn from their unfortunate errors, shall we?

1. Tobey Maguire and Leonardo DiCaprio

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The newly single Tobey Maguire has reportedly rejoined Leonardo DiCaprio’s Pussy Posse, and, according to Page Six, has been carousing around the Los Angeles “hot spots” and “following in Leo’s footsteps.” They note that “Tobey hasn’t been known to date those types of girls in the past. But he has been all over LA lately. It looks like Leo’s rubbed off on him.”

Look, I’m glad these two have each other, to act as lifesavers amid the flood of pussy they’re allegedly drowning in.

But, this also seems like the douchiest piece of news I’ve heard all week. JUDGING YOU, PUSSY POSSE.

2. Nashville

A promo for Season 5 of Nashville was released this week, and I think my computer screen actually sighed when I played it.

Guys, I just don’t know why this show is on anymore. Is anyone anywhere excited about it? I don’t even think Connie Britton is excited about it, and she’s arguably the most important reason to watch the show. Also, minus one million points for having a promo which features one of your characters crying ONE, SINGLE PERFECT TEAR.

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Seriously. What is this.

3. Azealia Banks and Russell Crowe

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Earlier this week, Azealia Banks accompanied her friend, rapper RZA, to a dinner party which was being hosted by Russell Crowe. However, it quickly became clear that Banks wasn’t particularly thrilled about the party, and made sure her opinions became known. According to TMZ:

According to eyewitness accounts the trouble started when Azealia laughed out loud at Russell’s music selection, and then called him and at least one other guest, “boring white men.” We’re told a female guest jumped to Russell’s defense and suggested Banks pipe down.

Instead of piping down, Banks made an extremely bizarre threat (?) to Russell Crowe and the unidentified woman:

We’re told she made an insane speech/threat to Crowe and the woman …“You would love it if I broke my glass, stabbed you guys in the throat, and blood would squirt everywhere like some real Tarantino shit.” Then for good measure, witnesses say she dropped a few n-bombs …

When it appeared that Banks was about to throw her glass, Crowe apparently forcibly ushered her out of the suite. Whether or not the party continued after such an altercation is unclear.

Later, Banks claimed that it was actually Crowe who used the n-word in reference to her — but her pal RZA stated that such a claim was untrue.

I don’t know who is wrong in this situation, but I’m happy with just blaming the terribleness on everyone.

4. Kanye West

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Kanye West just threw some serious shade at Jay-Z — which is honestly the drama that none of us needed right now.

Apparently the two infamous collaborators are currently in a bit of a tiff — mainly because of Tidal, Jay-Z’s streaming platform.

During the Saint Pablo tour in Seattle on Wednesday night, Kanye went off on a rant about the drama between Tidal and Apple, and basically threw Jay-Z under the bus:

I was not talking about Drake. And let me tell you something, there will never be a Watch the Throne 2. You know why? Because…I wasn’t on this song [final version of “Pop Style”]

because of Hov. Because of Tidal Apple bullshit. And this shit be getting me tight every time I perform this motherfucker. So y’all didn’t get what y’all was supposed to get with me and Drake on this song, because of Tidal Apple bullshit. Every time I perform this song I think about this shit. I think about the politics and the bullshit. I think about how hard I go. For music. For art, for y’all, for the fans. And Hov, he don’t.

(In case you were confused at all, yes, “Hov” is Jay-Z’s nickname.)

Apparently, Kanye also criticized Jay-Z for not coming to visit him following Kim Kardashian’s robbery in Paris, saying, “Don’t call me, after the robbery, and say ‘How you feelin?’ You wanna know how I’m feelin? Come by the house.”

While I understand perhaps the desire for a home visit instead of a phone call, you don’t get to dismiss a phone call as not caring, Kanye! Also, maybe don’t take a giant and very public shit on your friend during one of your concerts? I mean, it seems like pretty basic friendship etiquette.

Bottom line: another week, another Kanye rant, and another giant eye-roll from me.

5. This French Journalist

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During a recent episode of the French gameshow 35 Hours of Baba, contestant Jean-Michel Maire asked one of the show’s particpants, a 21-year-old model named Soraya, if he could have a kiss. The pair had just reenacted the Kim Kardashian robbery scenario, and Maire felt as though he had earned a kiss in return for his valiant “rescue” efforts.

According to the Metro UK, Soraya explicitly turned him down:

Soraya explicitly and firmly says ‘no’ – Maire tries to say, ‘She said yes!’ but Soraya repeats again, ‘I said no‘. Hanouna [the host]

starts asking her why she won’t let Maire kiss her, and she says that it’s because people are watching. Maire then suggests ‘Well we can do it backstage…’ prompting laughter from Hanouna and the audience.

Maire then leaned toward Soraya, who turned her face away. He then promptly kissed her on the right breast, before leaning back and looking very smug with himself.

YES, HELLO, THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT, YOU CRETIN.

Not surprisingly many viewers expressed outrage over this particular incident, and have filed complaints with the French FCC.

I didn’t think I would actually need to explain this, but: if you do not get consent to touch a woman in a sexual manner, then it’s sexual assault. And you’re an asshole.

Just some fun facts for your Friday!

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