The film trope of the “final girl” was first written about by Carol J. Clover in her book entitled Men, Women and Chainsaws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film, and explained why every woman in horror films who had sex or partied was brutalized by the killer. What Clover forgot to mention in her theory is that most women in horror films are plagued with another type of curse: they curse of having shitty boyfriends who put them directly in danger.
But it takes more than simply being stupid to make it to our worst horror movie boyfriends of all time list. No, these guys made our list because they refused to listen to their ladies who knew what was up way more than they did. They also make our list because they have bad attitudes, they’re forever trying to be tough even in life-threatening situations, and are all around insufferable. Warning: Spoilers ahead!
1. Billy – Scream
Perhaps the ultimate fuckboy when it comes to horror films, Billy seduces our heroine Sydney, then claims because they had sex she needs to die. Billy doesn’t just stop there, though, and spends the entire film acting confused as to why his friends are turning up dead, only to reveal himself later as the killer. It takes balls to act innocent when you’re responsible for everyone you know and love’s death, but Billy has no shame.
2. Micah – Paranormal Activity
Micah makes our list because he’s kind-hearted yet insufferable. What good boyfriend knows their beloved girlfriend has been stalked by demon for most of her adult life, then does everything in their power to provoke said demon? Even after Katie is like, “Hey man, no Ouija boards!” he immediately goes out to buy one. He deserved being thrown into the camera in the final frame because the entire movie leading up to that moment was basically one insensitive and emotionally tone-deaf choice after another by Micah.
3. Barry – I Know What You Did Last Summer
We understand that Ryan Phillipe is the ultimate bae, but in I Know What You Did Last Summer he was the ultimate loser. Sure, hitting someone with a car and killing them is traumatizing enough, but blaming all your friends when it was your idea to keep it a secret in the first place is rich. He also makes our list because he falls under the category of tough guys in horror films who think their muscles will actually protect them from a psychopath with an edge weapon. So long Barry, no one will miss you!
4. Trent – Friday the 13th (remake)
If you’ve had the displeasure of sitting through this 2005 slasher remake, you already know what makes Trent insufferable. Besides being a caricature of a human, Trent is that guy who invites you to stay in his nice cabin, and when a serial killer starts staking bodies still finds time to sexualize the women around him. Thankfully his death was slow and painful since he spent the 80 minutes of the film leading up to it screaming at his “friends” for tracking mud into his parents cabin.
5. Jack Torrance – The Shining
Jack Nicholson’s deranged delivery of the line “Here’s Johnny!” made him infamous, but he also makes our list because he actually thought it would be a good idea to isolate himself, his child, and his wife in a mountain resort for the duration of the winter. Weak in mind and body, Jack Torrance was a horrible father for not letting anyone in his family know he was seeing dead people until, you know, he went totally insane and decided to take up an axe for the climax of the movie.
6. Hugh – It Follows
Hugh has a minor part in It Follows when it comes to screen time, but is the driving force of the entire narrative. Since It Follows is a story about a demon that stalks it’s prey after being passed along sexually, naturally Hugh would make our list for knowingly sleeping with the film’s hero knowing it would be a death sentence.
7. Brom Van Brunt – Sleepy Hollow
Brom always felt like a douchebag from modern times dropped into Tim Burton’s dark-fever-dream film about a Headless Horseman. He makes our list because instead of trying to protect his girlfriend Katrina (played by Christina Ricci) throughout the film, he spends his time alive trying to scare off Johnny Depp’s character. The audience is almost relieved when he gets sawed in half by the horseman because you know Ricci deserves better.