Halloween is only a week away, then comes Thanksgiving, and, if you celebrate Christmas, then you’ve already seen every retailer from Target to your local craft store decking their halls with Christmas baubles. But I’m guessing you probably haven’t seen ornaments like these.
One Esty seller is going viral for making the one thing that’s always been missing from your holiday tree: colorful felt vaginas.
Feltmelons is an Etsy shop that sells glorious handmade “vaginaments.”
Shop owner Suzanne McAleenan makes the cutesy hoo-has from colored felt and artfully placed miniature sleigh bells that you can jingle and jangle to your heart’s content — because every lady likes to have her bell jingled, amirite?
The ornaments are available different sizes and colors, so you can make sure you get a tree vulva that represents your honey pot on a deeper level. McAleenan also boasts that she sews each one by hand, so “no two will look exactly alike. Just like in the real world!”
The vaginaments were featured on Metro over the weekend and went insanely viral.
McAleenan was forced to temporarily close her shop to contend with the volume of orders.
It seems everyone is trying to snatch these snatches. Luckily, the shop reopens tomorrow, so you can order fanciful vulvas for everyone on your list. You’ll want to order them asap too, because they’re made in Canada and most orders take about 18 days to ship.
If you want to make sure your vajayjay tree has all the trappings, FeltMelons also sells these delightfully perky boob ornaments.
Clearly, decking the halls with boughs of holly is so totally last season.
If you’re in need of a conversation starter for your next holiday party, you want a White Elephant gift that won’t end up in the trash, or you just feel like Christmas is seriously lacking in pussy power (it SO is), then a merry little Vagina-mas is just what you need.