I thought The Kama Sutra (or Kamasutra) was a weird old sex manual with impossible positions, mostly designed for philosophical acrobats. But actually, the Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Hindu text written in glorious prose by Vātsyāyana. It’s a really important piece of literature on not just human sexuality but love, family and general humanity. So, I decided to try using the Kama Sutra as a guidebook for a week, but I had no idea what to expect. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year, so we’re pretty familiar with each other’s bodies. Essentially, we get it done. So, the idea of trying something new and ~spicing it up~ sounded fun. And fun it was.
The beauty of the Kama Sutra App
To start this adventure, I downloaded the Pocket Kamasutra app because it’s 2016 and although the Kama Sutra may be ancient, I am not. This app is awesome and is so much more than just sex positions. It includes custom playlists, sex tips and ways to track your progress. It tells you which parts of your body get a workout and how many calories you’ve burned. (Woo! Sex calories!). Similar to a fitness app, you can see how your sex is improving and how much of a workout you’re getting. Who doesn’t like to skip the gym for sex?
The Leap Frog
Difficult rating: 4
Once I had the app, it was time to get down to business. I decided to start off easy with a position called Frog Leap, which was as funny as it sounds. Essentially, it is doggy style, but the woman is in a “frog” squat position. I felt ridiculous, but it ended up working out pretty well. No one was injured and the medium calorie burning rating made me feel like I had hit the gym. I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing and ready to take on the next challenge.
Difficulty rating: 9
After our success the day before, we decided to try something a little more difficult. I’m a pretty flexible person, so I thought the Acrobat position would be easy. I was wrong. This position is reverse cowgirl, but I had to bend backwards like an acrobat. Unfortunately, I am not an acrobat myself despite my perceived flexibility. I was mostly in pain and waiting for it to be over. My back did not want to be bent in such a way. It felt like a yoga session that went too long. This was not a complete failure. My partner was totally into it, but I was not the biggest fan.
The importance of also enjoying non-sexual connection.
Of the 1,250 verses from the Kama Sutra, just 50 are about sexual intercourse positions. So in order to truly experience Kama Sutra, we took a day to learn about some of the things other than sex. Romance plays a big role in the Kama Sutra. Engaging in a hobby together is supposed to enhance sexual chemistry, so we decided to cook dinner together — it was surprisingly sexy. It’s fun to create something with your partner and if there’s anything that gets me excited, it’s food. It was a win win.
The Amazon position
Difficulty Rating: 8
To end our week of Kama Sutra, we went all out. We tried one of one of the most difficult positions, which was the Amazon. The man is supposed to lay on his back while the woman squats over him in a seated position. Which honestly sounds like hell. This was going to burning calories like crazy, though, which is a win. I was going to be doing squats. And I love a challenge, so we tried. And tried. And tried. I would like to say we mastered it, but I would be lying. I kept feeling my legs burn and thought I may never walk again. It was mostly a lot of laughing and a lot of me complaining. It never really panned out.
The end results reminded me that having fun and trying new things is really important.
What I learned is that Kama Sutra sex positions are fun to try, but not always practical. But mostly, sex isn’t just about the climax. It’s about the process, about connecting, about being in tune with your partner. And, the things you do outside of the bedroom influence your sex life just as much as these wildly acrobatic sex positions do. It was fun to try new things even if they totally failed, because sex should be fun (surprise). TBH, I wouldn’t try them all again, but practice I’m sure makes perfect (for someone out there). However, I am determined to get my legs strong enough to stay in a squatting position long enough to enjoy the Amazon. That’s serious #SEXGOALS.