Kylie Jenner (and every person in the Kardashian Klan, really) is a champion when it comes to posing in lingerie and taking scantily-clad photos. Nobody knows how to casually slay an underwear mirror selfies quite like Kylie.
However, her most recent set of sexy selfies is f*cking baffling.
On Thursday night, Kylie discovered a nude thong bikini in her closet that she simply had to model for her Snapchat followers. Because you have to give the people what they want, right?
She wasted no time in giving her audience some close up shots of the high-cut bikini bottoms.
All of this narcissism would have seemed commonplace in Kylie World. But then, things just got bizarre.
Kylie started modeling her nude bikini while bustling around the kitchen and making … lasagna?
Kylie tried to convince everyone that her bikini selfies were all simply an incidental part of the lasagna-making process. (Because you can’t put together a classic Italian dish without giving the camera a lil’ extra booty, obviously.)
She helpfully added the word “Lasagna” next to a photo of her shapely form, in case anyone was confused.
Yep! Nothing to see here, folks, just a good, old-fashioned case of lasagna butt!
She even included a video of herself and her pal, Jordyn Woods, telling the camera that they are making lasagna, IN CASE YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE THEM ALREADY.
I don’t know, Kylie. You’re using the word “lasagna” way too much for me to believe you’re actually making lasagna. I don’t see any damn ingredients! I don’t see you actually cooking anything! And, most importantly, there are ZERO sauce stains on that spotless nude bikini — which is the most obvious sign that something is amiss with your whole web of Italian food LIES.
Kylie shared one last glimpse of her new favorite outfit (IT’S A SWIMSUIT, GIRL) before she retired to bed. There was no damn lasagna in sight.
Don’t promise me lasagna if you aren’t going to deliver, Kylie.
Clearly, there’s only one possible explanation: Kylie and Jordyn robbed a bank last night and needed to establish a plausible alibi for their whereabouts. “Making lasagna” seemed like the least suspicious option.
I don’t believe you know how to make lasagna, Kylie — but, to give credit where credit is due, I do believe that you know how to rock a bikini selfie.
So you’ve got that goin’ for you, which is nice.