If you recall the trivial and petty arguments of 2015 (I know I do), then you will remember the great “controversy” surrounding last year’s Starbucks holiday cups.
Namely: they were plain red cups, and people lost their damned minds.
Why? Because this festive red color wasn’t Christmas-y enough.
People assumed Starbucks was taking some sort of anti-Christian stance we these “inclusive” holiday cups, which didn’t seem to be celebrating any particular holiday. Some customers felt so attacked, that they went so far as to put their name down as “Merry Christmas” on their coffee orders, so baristas were forced to write something specifically Christmas-related on their cups.
I know what you’re wondering, and the answer is yes — Donald Trump was also outraged by the the lack of explicitly Christmas-related images on the red coffee cups. He even suggested possibly boycotting Starbucks.
After all of this hubbub over what was, essentially, nothing, it’s only to be expected that this year’s cups will be under considerable scrutiny. (Because people have nothing better to do with their time, I guess.)
And if you’re curious about what this year’s holiday cups will look like, then look no further, because images of the 2016 cups have just been *gasp* leaked to the public by Starbucks employees.
The images of the holiday cups which have surfaced thus far feature a red background, (*gulp*) with a white illustrated overlay (*phew*) of a bird on some branches (Huh?).
While no one can accuse these of being “plain red” coffee cups, it remains to be seen whether the Christmas-loving public will be satisfied with this wintery imagery.
In the meantime, there’s a November cup out that’s currently out to distract all of us. (HOW MANY CUPS CAN THERE BE?) These cups are supposed to constitute the “first round” in the holiday cup rotation, and feature a white and green background with an illustrated overlay of a crowd.
“The green cup and the design represent the connections Starbucks has as a community with its partners (employees) and customers. During a divisive time in our country, Starbucks wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other,” Howard Schultz, Starbucks chairman and CEO noted in a press release.
And never fear, Starbucks lovers: along with the green cup comes all of the holiday beverages which we pretend are coffee, but are actually liquid dessert. These drinks include the Chestnut Praline Latte, Caramel Brulée Latte, Gingerbread Latte, Eggnog Latte, and the Peppermint Mocha.
So if you’re feeling ruffled about the impending release of the red holiday cups (which may or may not be “Christmas-y” enough), then shut the f*ck up and drink a peppermint mocha.
Because the only time you should pissed off about a red cup is if you’re playing a game of beer pong.