Fans of superhuman women, rejoice! The new Wonder Woman trailer is out, and it’s full of new characters, imagery and teasers.
Pretty dope, right?
And naturally, the new trailer is prompting just a few questions.
Here are just a few queries that I’ll probably have to wait until the June 2017 release date to have answered:
1. Damn, Diana, will you teach us how to make this sick fishtail braid?
Just take a look at the framing of this shot and tell me that it doesn’t exist for the pure purpose of highlighting this spectacular piece of hair artistry. I mean, I know it’s not integral to the plot, but it’s definitely integral to my life.
2. Who is this person with half a face?
This is some straight-up Boardwalk Empire sh*t right here. This character doesn’t seem to be an antagonist … but her presence definitely raises some questions. Why is half of her face (presumably) destroyed? Whose side is she on? WHO IS SHE WORKING WITH??
3. What the heck is this stuff?
Okay, this is an actual question. While I’m sure that a real person has actually invented some sort of noxious gas which corrodes all matter … how is it destroying the mask without also destroying this containment bubble? I’M JUST SAYING, I NEED THE LOGIC BEHIND THIS, PLEASE.
4. Did Diana just straight up steal this sword?
If so, then this is a great ode to King Arthur/Game of Thrones. If not, then please carry on with your lives and forget this question ever existed.
5. Does Wonder Woman never take off her accessories, even when she’s “under cover”?
This moment in a back alley is very Clark Kent, except that, instead of catching the bullet, Diana deflects it with her sweet wrist-wear. But does that mean that she’s always secretly wearing her accessories, ready to throw down at the drop of a hat? Because that sounds awesome, but also sounds like a serious wardrobe headache.
6. Is this sword dress fooling anybody?
“I say, there’s that mysterious secretary woman wearing a blue dress. I wonder why there’s an enormous metal handle stick out of her back? No matter! Back to the brandy and cigars, old chaps!”
7. What’s THIS GUY thinking right now?
Probably something like, “I am acting the F*CK out of this scene, and I really hope it makes it into the movie trailer.”
8. Are these two about to be interrupted before they can have a romantic moment?
Um, this is a movie. Of course they are. You can’t have an explicitly romantic moment that actually leads to explicit romance! That would be preposterous! Where’s the fun in having your two leads kiss before the climax of the movie?
9. Is Wonder Woman’s lasso actually a lightsaber??
This is so much cooler than I ever though a superhero lasso could be. When I look at this lasso, I am, remarkably, not reminded of a rodeo or “get along, lil’dogie.” Instead, I am reminded that this Wonder Woman movie may actually be worth the ticket price!
10. Is this wonderful woman going to get her own spinoff movie?
I mean, no, obviously not, but just let me dream, okay??
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