A 19-Year-Old believes that she has immaculately conceived the Son of God. Haley and her family made an appearance on The Dr. Phil Show, where Haley begs them to have faith in her hallowed womb while her mother and sister wonder if she needs medical psychiatric attention. Throughout the criticisms and doubts, Haley remains steadfast in her divine convictions.
“There is no what if, I am pregnant, and it is Jesus.”
Haley says she’s gained 22 pounds during the 9-month gestation and has felt The Holy Fetus kicking inside her on several occasions, despite the six negative pregnancy tests she’s taken. Our Lord and Savior is physically manifesting inside her, even if He can’t be unearthed by man-made tools of detection. Now she’s demanding a drawn blood test and an ultrasound on live television.
“I will be giving birth. I’m not going to deny my baby.”
Haley’s mother and sister both insist that Haley isn’t pregnant, but is a delusional, compulsive liar. Haley also believes Eminem is her father and she made it onto season 14 of American Idol.
“I’m not stupid. I’m not crazy. I’m tired of playing these games,” Haley claims. “And it’s about to be over with.”
The mystery will be solved once and for all on The Dr. Phill Show, where Haley will receive an ultrasound on live television. But who knows, maybe the King of Kings is actually a vampire and can’t show up on video frequencies.
If it is Baby Jesus, hopefully he’ll save us from this wackadoo election.