WTF, There’s Yet *Another* Starbucks Holiday Cup?

Everyone, prepare yourselves: winter is coming, and we have no idea what our coffee cups are going to look like.

Recently Starbucks unveiled their vaguely holiday-related green cups, which are meant to  serve as a “symbol of unity” and a “reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other.”

Then there was a leaked photo of the new red cups which will supposedly come out for the holidays (although no official announcement has been made about these).

But hold your horses, people. A customer at a Starbucks in Cupertino was just served up a hot coffee beverage in THIS wintry red cup:

Apparently the Starbucks employees “accidentally” opened the wrong box of cups, and decided to give some lucky customers a glimpse of what was coming out on November 10th.

But … this wasn’t the red cup we were expecting! How many red cups are there, Starbucks??

Well, I have my humble theory: the green cups (which have never been advertised as holiday-related) are a not-so-subtle ode to this horrifically-divisive election season, which will probably disappear (more or less) after November 8th. The red cups, on the other hand, signify that Starbucks is probably getting ready to unveil MULTIPLE holiday cup designs at once. Which is, honestly, a pretty genius move.

Everybody bitched so much, that poor Starbucks had no choice but to make TWELVE DAYS OF CUP-MAS so that their beloved customers would just shut the f*ck up, for once.

I don’t know how it got to this point. I don’t know why anybody cares so much about what their paper, disposable coffee cups look like. I’m not even sure if my theory is remotely correct.

But I do know one thing: this has all been a very stupid and welcome distraction during this ghastly election season.

Thanks, Starbucks, for reminding me that trivial controversies are funny!

Related-ish: This Year’s Starbucks Holiday Cup Looks Like It Won’t Piss As Many People Off

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