When you’re in college, you invariably find yourself consuming rather dubious foods on a daily basis.
Fast food tacos at 2 AM? Probably. Frozen yogurt with every single available topping? Sure, why not? Basically anything that’s covered in melted cheese? You better believe it.
Because of this trend, snacking in college is considerably different than snacking at any other point in one’s life. The sheer laziness of college students, compounded with the lack of money and lack of proper cooking accoutrements, can lead to to some pretty ingenious (read: presposterous and hilarious) culinary creations.
Here are just a few desserts which you’ll probably recognize from your days in a dorm room. While we post-grads should all be thankful that we no longer have to resort to such bizarre food choices, it’s still nice to take a moment and remember them for what they are: a fond reminder of our Freshman Fifteen.
Nutella is essentially liquid gold to hungry college students. It doesn’t matter what kind of carb you smear it on, Nutella will make (almost) anything taste good — or at least edible. Considering the other possible options (i.e., saltine crackers), spreading it on a tortilla actually sounds like haute cuisine, honestly.
Rice cakes are basically inedible. However, they are also one of the few items you can pick up from CVS at 1 AM, so, as a lowly student, you’re forced to add enough accoutrements to make them remotely appetizing. Peanut butter, bananas … whatever! The sky’s the limit when it comes to decorating your personal piece of circular styrofoam!
Ah, the smell of microwave popcorn wafting down the dormitory hallways. Was there any smell that was more inviting for an 18-year-old, aside from marijuana? However, microwave popcorn certainly doesn’t constitute a dessert, so you were always forced to add some sort of candy to make it a truly delectable experience. My personal favorite? Reese’s Pieces, obviously. Because my palate is refined as f*ck.
Of course microwave s’mores don’t taste half as delicious as regular, roasted s’mores, but that is completely beside the point. You can make them in the microwave, therefore, they are a perfectly fitting college dessert! No more questions!
Remember when one of the Lindsay Lohans in The Parent Trap claimed to love Oreos with peanut butter? Well, that sentiment definitely put these unusual delicacies ahead of the competition when it comes to late-night college munchies.
I don’t even know what this is, but you have probably eaten one while studying for a mid-term. Don’t try to deny it.
Taking two delicious things and smashing them together? That’s basically the modus operandi of all college food — and this melted, Rolo sandwich is certainly no exception. How else are you supposed to put all that uneaten Halloween candy to good use?
Because sometimes, to your dismay, you find that you are out of tortilla chips in your dorm room. What’s more, you also find that your cravings seem to revolve around sweeter items. The only solution? Turn that token apple you have loitering in your mini-fridge into some sweet-ass nachos, obviously.
Because all college students have had the thought, at one point or another, “Gee, this cereal would be even better if the milk were somehow frozen/ten times more delicious.”
The only way to get around the fact that you don’t have an oven in your dorm room is to embrace the deliciousness of mug cakes. Not only do they take roughly one minute to “cook,” they’re also made in a single mug, which minimizes cleanup. Does this perhaps make them the ultimate college dessert? Why yes. Yes, it does.
Because the best kind of cookies are the kind that somebody else bakes.
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